Funny Or Die

I'm loving these new rash of sites that are forcing you to choose between the good videos and the crap. I love Youtube and all, but since they accept everything submitted you have to dig through alot of crap to find what you're looking for, or to even find something decent.

Especially when digging for comedy, you have to put up with someone doing a horrible stand up comedy routine with bad sound in the attic of their parents house, and you happen to stumble across it because they had the nerve to tag their video as comedy, funny, or humorous.

Well, enter Funny Or Die. Which some of you may already know about. Will Ferrell's and Adam McKay's FUNNYORDIE.COM. A site in which you watch a video and you must rate it at the end, is it FUNNY? Or should it DIE? Why do I bring this up? Because I have posted our beloved Dinosaur Killers 3000: Music Mountain, on the website. I submit it to you here for your consideration. Is it funny? Or should it die? I'm proud to say that since submitting the video last night we've gotten fairly high ratings. Yay!




Another site that is currently running something similar, but not really, is OURSTAGE.COM. Here you can choose a category where you can watch music videos or comedy videos or other videos for you to vote on. Choose to "JUDGE", pick a category to judge, and then they will give you two videos to watch. Once you've watched at least 30 seconds of each video you have to choose which one is better, and by how much, as explained above the two videos. They give you 30 seconds for each video, because alot of the videos submitted you'll only be able to stand for that long.

I have submitted THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL Trailer under the COMEDY Category, and out of 139 or so vids in that category, I am proud to say that we are 3rd for this months contest. Every month winners receive a cash prize, so help us out if you can. Lord knows I'd be putting that money right back into advertising for The Midnight Special. Click this link:
ourstage.com/judge

Make sure you've selected COMEDY as the "channel" and start watching videos. What sucks is you can't just go directly to the video and rate it, you have to go through the videos they send you and choose the best, so if you decide to watch for our video, you'll have to judge two videos at a time until you get to ours. At the same time it's a great way for each video to get seen and judged.

When you do come to The Midnight Special Trailer, if the video opposite us happens to be, in your opinion, better then our trailer, then by all means, please vote their video as the best. Other indie moviemakers are out there busting their asses getting these videos out and they deserve due credit for that. The spirit of ourstage.com is to bring the best videos to the winners circle. If it's us, then great. If it's someone else, great as well, just as long as it's someone who worked hard and really did have a great video.

Holy Crap!

It's been alot of hurry up and wait trying to get through the details of putting this little indie film on DVD. And after trying to get the DVD cover design just right, deciding on the disc graphic, proof reading the hell out of everything, double and triple checking the disc, sending off to CUSTOMFLIX, and then awaiting the proof copy for my approval, FINALLY, we are on DVD.

Got the proof copy yesterday, a week late, but I'm not complaining, I'm just so excited to have my work more widely available to the public. Woke up just in time to see the FedEx truck guy pull up. Met him outside where he gleefully handed me the package. The sun was shining, rainbows formed over head, and a blue bird sat on my shoulder as I accepted the package. It felt good, that package. Nice and firm. A real feeling of excitement and satisfaction holding that package. This is sounding bad isn't it? Mr. Blue Bird flew away as I headed inside. Lemme tell ya, was I excited. I almost didn't want to open it just to prolong the excitement. I love getting mail anyhow, and this was just quintuple all that. Tore into it to find what I've been dying to see.

Understand I designed the cover and the disc design, the menu, the disc layout, etc. I give them the files and master disc, they make the entire packaging happen. Once they make it happen they send me the proof, which is exactly what the customer will recieve when they order it. So not only do I get to finally see the movie I've been busting my ass on for years now reach the next level, but I also get to see what was once just files on my computer, turned into a full professional package, as well as experience what the customer will experience, though I doubt any of you who may purchase my movie will be jumping up and down in your kitchen doing old school Arsenio Hall dog barking noises and gestures, as I was doing yesterday.

I'M A DORK!!!!


Lemme tell ya, Customflix is a dream come true for us DIY, Indie Moviemakers. Through them our movie will be listed on IMDB, it's going to available through Amazon.com in a few weeks, it'll be available for download to your home computer, through your XBOX, or if you have a TIVO. Thanks to Customflix for all that, and also without them the following pics would not be possible.

Ooooh, spine labeling, SEXY!


That's right bitches, a REAL LIFE BARCODE!


No crappy computer printed sticker labels here!


Check out one of the ad banners, which I'm sure you have, if you're on my Myspace. Yes, that's right, a dollar from every DVD sold goes to a Cancer Charity as per our mission to create and heal!


More dorkiness.


And now all we have to do is tell the world about it. So there is much much much much work to be done.

Do me favor, and tell everyone you know about it. Check out our site MONSTERCOPS.COM, to see all the trailers and clips, and decide for yourself if you'd like to get a DVD copy of our little Comedy Horror flick. Fair warning though, it's actually more of a Comedy. But it's funny as hell.

Pardon me, I have to go tell the world about it now.

Ahem.... scuse me, um... world?

Contest Round up AGAIN! Update

Major updates to the last contest round up post. Scroll down to the post or click this link: http://onespartan.blogspot.com/2007/04/contest-round-up-again.html

A Small Delay

Ok so there is a small delay on the DVD release, gotta fix a few glitches, but the good news is that it shouldn't be too long. So hold your horses if you're looking to buy a DVD. We'll be posting it everywhere as soon as it is available.

- P

Batter up

My first inclination is to write the following words to start off this post: "This has been the hardest couple of days."

But that would be incorrect. It has been indeed, but really the collective difficulty is that of more than just a couple of days. I posted once on this roller coaster of emotion and drama. The pain of being a no-budget indie moviemaker combined with the pain that accompanies dealing with death and the responsibility of consoling the ones you love. This is fucking hard.

The ups and downs are in such separation that it fools you into thinking everything is ok. Then the emotions hit you. The memories hit you. You fight to get to a point where you are positive about everything, and as a husband I hope to God that the laughter me and my wife share is an indication that things are better. Then it hits. You go from trying to celebrate a life, to going back to wondering what it is you could have done differently. How could I have saved Brenda? How can I be better suppporting my wife?

And then the movie making pursuit, which is something that was set into motion before all this, hits you with it's realities and responsibilities. The DVD release is supposed to be tomorrow. The marketing must continue. And new pressures have arisen. And once again because of the Birthday Wish Syndrome I will not reveal right away what those pressures are. But it's something that needs to be done. Needs to be tried for.

All this happened yesterday. Yesterday was one of the hardest days in this journey through grieving and trying to be an artist/entrepeneur. My heart breaks in two when Juli gets hit hard with the grief. Yesterday was no exception. It's a horrible thing to hear your wife in pain. It's a horrible feeling not knowing if what you are doing is enough for your wife. I hate hearing her in such pain. But it's only been 6 months since her mother died, and there is no manual on how to grieve. There is no manual on when to expect the grief to hit and leave and hit again. I know there is much strength being gained by both of us. But like a muscle being pushed to it's limits, our resolve is being tested in much the same way. When the relief comes it comes with laughter and positivity because we are at heart people who return to love and positivity. But somedays that's just a set up for the fall.

We hit the ground pretty hard yesterday. But of course we bounce back. We fought our way back to the positive. Much hugging ensued, much leaning on one another, as a couple should and as we so often do. Juli is better for now. But it's left me drained. And as I find myself in the recovery period of this emotional workout, that's when the weight of a new challenge arises. It's something exciting. It's something I feel I need to embark on, but at the same time it puts me right back into the heart of being a no-budget, DIY moviemaker. It may very well be something I need, but right now there is alot to figure out and in a short period of time.

This is a chance for me to really get to say what it is I was trying to say with The Midnight Special. But how do I do that with even less than what I had in Texas?

I need to hit this one out of the park. DIY again. Solo. One guy tryin to play all positions in a ball game. I don't know what made me think before that this was over. Like somehow, the DVD was gong to come out and I would proceed with the business plan and the next project would be with a budget and a professional crew instead of just me running around doing everything.

But it looks like I'm going to have to do this a couple more times. But this time around I have to do it better that I ever had. It's going to take a little money (from lord knows where) but it's mainly going to take a whole lot of creativity and sweat. This is all about pressure and time, and the latter I don't have too much of.

Gotta sell some DVD's. Gotta find out what my assets are here. I need sleep.

Time to find out what exactly one spartan can do.

Holy Shit!

Cloudburst!

All of a sudden I have a TON of work to do!

brb

Monster Research Videos

The idea behind the Monster Cops movies is simple. Take a mockumentary look into the lives of monster killers. So basically Cops vs. Monsters. Of course it would have that comedy twist, so really it's more like Reno 911 vs. Monsters. With THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL I feel we accomplished the mockumentary type comedy. As far as the monster portion, I feel we did ok. We didn't reach the full potential of what I had in mind. This is something I fully plan on remedying for the next feature for sure.

The monsters I have in mind are the usual, Zombies, Vampires, and Werewolves. But my stipulation is that they look scary and real. I mean something that would actually scare you or gross you out if you saw it live. A motto I plan on sticking closely too is, if it looks fake live then it'll look fake on camera. Since much of what we are going to shoot is going to stick closely to reality TV/cinema verite, then I want what the camera sees to look as realistic as possible. I don't want you for one second to look at a zombie and think some guy in stage make up. I don't want you for one second to to look at a Vampire and think that the plastic fangs are about to fall out, (unfortunately some of our scenes look that way to me in TMS). And when you see the Werewolf footage, I want you think that we may actually have gotten a large beast like creature of some kind.

Monster Cops is a comedy with realistic scares. At least that's what it should be. The comedy comes from us, the cops. The monsters will remain scary. In other words, you will never see a wise cracking zombie or tap dancing Werewolf. Part of my vision for the franchise is to feature amazing monster footage with decent thrills. Suffice it to say we've got alot of work to do for the next movie, and much money to raise. But I am confident. Until then I'll keep looking for sources of inspiration. Many of these sources come in the form of Online Video.

I am blown away by the videos I've seen of the WALKING WITH DINOSAURS LIVE EXPERIENCE. This is definitely a show I want to see desperately. The following videos give you a glimpse inside this amazing show. My jaw dropped when I saw the brilliant work these people have put into these live action dinosaurs. I'm personally in awe because these are excellent examples of the kind of "monster fx" I'm looking to inspire the next Monster Cops feature. Especially the Velociraptors. The way they move is the way I would love to see a Werewolf or Demon move in the next movie, especially when we shoot it the way we're going to shoot it.

EDIT: What I thought were Velociraptors are actually the Baby T-Rex and the LILIENSTERNUS. Still amazing though.

Walking With Dinosaurs Workshop


Walking with Dinosaurs, The live experience '07 in Brisbane


Walking With Dinosaurs Live Experience. Check out the official site. Lord knows I'll be checking up on those US Tour Dates.


The next video is an example of animatronic dinos sans inside operator. I think.

National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology in Japan



Disney animatronics, as seen on the Travel Channel. I actually have the full program recorded. I watch it often.




And more videos on more Horror/Halloween based fx/animatronics. The Pumpkin and Rock monsters are creatures I'd consider using in Monster Cops plotlines. If we could make it work realistically.

Pumpkin Monster Animatronics at Transworld Halloween Trade Show



Rock Monster Animatronics at Transworld


The following costume by Gore Galore is amazing. I'm definitely considering contacting them to help with costuming.

Freakenstein by Gore Galore



This costume was made for a LARP gig. Amazing work.

Stone Golem

FUCK! I love writing!

Contest Round Up. AGAIN!

EDITED 4/29/07

Bust out that video camera and get crackin!
(Deadlines in parenthesis)

Ratatouille Comedy Contest
http://www.myspace.com/ratatouille

Acceptable TV
(Rolling Deadlines)
http://acceptable.tv/

Filmaka Film Competition
(Rolling Deadlines, Currently "The Secret" April 30th)
http://www.filmaka.com/index.asp

Briobox $50,000 Contest
(Rolling Deadlines)
http://www.briobox.com/index.php

OurStage Video Contest
(April 26th)
http://www.ourstage.com/go/vidopp

Lonely Planet TV's Travel Video Contest
(May 15th 2007)
http://www.lonelyplanet.tv/competition.aspx

MTV Movie Awards Movie Spoof Contest
(May 21st, 2007)
http://mtvmovieawards.yahoo.com/spoofs/

Love My Library Video Contest
(May 25th 2007)
http://www.gale.com/librareo/

Bytecaster Video Presentation Contest
(May 30th, 2007)
http://www.bytecaster.com/contests/presentation/index.aspx

"Chub City® In Action" Film Contest
(May 31st)
http://www.iplayaz.com/

John Woo's Stranglehold
(June 25th, 2007)
http://www.myspace.com/strangleholdgame

Mr Clean Scenes
(June 30th, 2007)
http://www.mrcleanscenes.com/mrclean/en_US/mclanding.do

Heinz Top This TV Challenge
(August 6th)
http://www.topthistv.com/

One Minute Film Festival
(September 1st, 2007)
http://www.minutefilmfest.com/2007/home.htm

My heart is with you

New Review!

Yet another amazing review, this time from Chad Connolly over
at

THE MOVIES MADE ME DO IT.

He gave us a great blurb that I will surely be putting on posters.

"The Midnight Special is truly one of the freshest and most hilarious films to come out of the (horror/comedy) genre."

Wow! Thanks Chad!

CLICK HERE FOR THE REVIEW

DVD RELEASE APRIL 27th

Monster Cops: The Midnight Special was initially supposed to be on DVD by the end of this week, Friday The 13th (woulda been cool) but due to a few set backs (as always) we'll be pushing back the official release to April 27th.

Basic Paper Engineering

Here we go again. I do play with paper alot. It's what I turn to help me think. it also helps that people like to watch them on Metacafe. This one has inspired a short movie idea. Enjoy.


Pop up Talking Puppet


Pop Up Talking Puppet - Funny bloopers are a click away

Eli Roth's Grindhouse Trailer

Thanksgiving from ELI ROTH

Warning. Explicit content.




He really nailed that late 70's early 80's slasher feel. And they actually used music from Creepshow. LOL.

Bob Clark

He probably won't be remembered as the greatest director ever. And most may not even know who he is. But to me, he was someone that influenced my love for the movies. His movies definitely influenced the way I look at movies. For sure he contributed to most of our enjoyment of Christmas.

Bob Clark, director of such bombs as Rhinestone, such mediocre fare as Baby Geniuses, and such classics (classics to me anyways) as Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, the original Black Christmas, Porky's, Turk 182, and A Christmas Story, He died this past Wednesday.

The Los Angeles Times reports that director Bob Clark and his 22-year-old son Ariel were killed Wednesday in an early morning collision along a stretch of Pacific Coast Highway in Pacific Palisades.

Mr. Clark I'm so sorry for you and your son. I'm sorry for your family. I'm sorry I never got to tell you what an inspiration Turk 182 was to me. Thank you for your work dear sir. I really appreciated it.

DIE HARD 4.0 Live Free Or Die Hard

Trailers below. I'll post later about my obsession with Die Hard. But I will say that even as a die hard DIE HARD fan, I was only merely interested seeing as how it may not be as great as the others minus direction by John McTiernan (or even Renny Harlin) and minus an amazing score from the late great Michael Kamen. Now after watching the trailers (posted below), I'm VERY excited.

The Die Hard movies always had 5 things that I looked forward to. Bruce Willis Wise Cracks, Kamen's Score, Great Action, Smart Action, and that over the top vibe. Hey 4 outta 5 ain't bad.







I'm sorry, but did they just blow up the Capitol building?
Holy crap.



I love that they used Beethoven's 9th in this trailer. Granted it's a rock version, but hey, it sounds cool, and it's always a pleasure to hear Beethoven while watching Bruce shoot stuff.

http://www.diehard4movie.com/

Monster Cops:TMS Denver Screening

MONSTER COPS: THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL will be screening in Denver, Colorado on Saturday April 21st, 2007 at 12:30pm. At STARFEST/HORRORFEST.



If you're in the Denver area feel free to swing by the con/fest and checkout all the events including our movie.


Check up on the full schedule here.

April Fools Day

A day I don't like very much. But here's something I do like:



Features Tom F. Wilson and my fav, Debbie Foreman. (sigh)

DC First Look at Grindhouse

I am beyond excited about this movie. Here's a review from those lucky bastards over at Dread Central. Pretty much what I was expecting. So very excited! Mainly because of Planet Terror, but I gotta tell ya, I'm truely excited about the trailers. Click the DC banner for the review.

Still Rollin

I don't like to post negative and I always try to post positive. Sometimes I'll give in to the ways of self empathizing, I mean that is a part of life and what a blog is so often used for. But I hate posting when I'm down. Too many posts like that and I sound like I'm constantly feeling sorry for myself. It just comes off as whiney, which is always a big turn off for me when it comes to blogging or reading other's blogs.

So I'll go a week without posting much of anything. It's still a rough road we're on since Brenda passed away. And I'll say this much, Juli is definitely on the road to healing, and I'm still grappling with much I didn't deal with early on. Issues and feelings that do have to do with Brenda's passing, but also to do with my own family. I'm worried about my father's health, my mother's sanity in dealing with it, as well as my own perspective on the entire matter. She says my father is fine, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry. It one big jumble of concern, Mom and Dad, Brenda's passing, Juli and her family, as well as my own day to day stress, and let's not forget this whole indie movie making thing.

But it's all going to be ok. I've got my head up, and it's not like it's something I can't handle. Still rollin.

Thankfully I have great distractions. Juli and I still have a great sense of humor and this whole indie thing, as stressful as it can be, is still very much a great thing.

My movie, Monster Cops: The Midnight Special, will be headed out to DVD soon. Also we've got 3 screenings coming up in 3 different citys. At the end of April in Washington, D.C. as well as at Starfest/Horrorfest convention in Boulder, Colorado. Also a Dallas screening at the scifi con known as FENCON IV, in September. Exact dates and times coming soon. I'm working on more screenings as well as maintaining the course with the marketing agenda. So far so good, we'll see how it all goes.

More to post later.

Get a Spartan Body

The only workout that seems like it would get you into that Spartan Soldier 300 shape.

www.p90x.com

Get ready for some major intensity, actually, you may want to find another workout to get you into decent shape before embarking on p90x.

At World's End

Or Watch It Here

VIDEO ROUND-UP and CONTEST ROUND UP!

Never ever ever underestimate the power of editing. Case in point the creative individual who runs under the name of AMDS Films. Check out all his stuff on Youtube. AMDS FILMS http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=amds

Excellent excellent work. Back in the day I use to do something smiliar with my fav movies, reedit them, combine them, Remix them, or as the kids are calling it nowadays "Mash ups". But what this guy is doing is amazing. Terminator Vs. Robocop Episode 1 is my fav and Neo Vs. Robocop is my second. I gotta say, him inserting himself into Garden State was pretty neat. Great stuff!


TERMINATOR vs ROBOCOP Episode 1
I love not only how well it's edited, but also the mashup with the scores is GREAT!
Great ending too! I haven't been this blown away by a FanFilm/Mashup since BATMAN: DEAD END


TERMINATOR vs ROBOCOP Episode 2


NEO vs ROBOCOP


3 DAYS IN ROMANS



It's that time of year again folks. Time for the STAR WARS FAN FILM CHALLENGE. If you didn't know about it, click on the link, get your creative Star Wars fan film juices goin and send in your submissions. This is one of those I know about every year but never get a chance to do. My fav since 2003 has been the one called "PINK 5" starring my favorite Valley Girl Jedi, Stacy.

AtomFilm's and LucaFilm's STAR WARS FAN FILM CHALLENGE

And while your at it here's some more heads up on other fun little video contests for all my fellow movie makers. Make something and submit, you just might win something.


VMIX has 3 contests for you to enter, if you dare.

- THE DO IT YOURSELF DOC CONTEST

- THE BEST ROOMMATE PRANK CONTEST

- GOLDRUSH MUSIC VIDEO CONTEST

And here is more for ya:

- istockphoto's THE FUTURE IS NOW CONTEST

- GRAB EM BY THE SACK VIDEO CONTEST (I swear that's really the name)

And I can't believe Carson Daily is actually good for something. Check out the following for constant video challenges and chances to create and win.

- CARSON DAILY'S IT'S YOUR SHOW
If most of the challenges are about to be done, just wait and new ones will be posted.

Grindhouse Trailer Contest. WINNERS!!!!

Seriously, you have no excuses. I post about it all the time. I tell moviemakers just starting out the same things over and over. With todays technology you literally have no excuses not to make and distribute your own movie for little to no money. I've done that with The Midnight Special and I'm already on the road to distribution. But this particular theme is reiterated when you look at some of the incredible entrys for the Grindhouse Contest.

In order to promote the movie Grindhouse, they created a contest asking movie makers everywhere to create their own trailers for a fake Grindhouse movie. The 3 finalists have been chosen and one of those is the winner. After watching all three I am simply blown away. Incredible stuff. Keep in mind that these are fake trailers for Grindhouse movies, they are supposed to exhibit the very essence of a Grindhouse flick. Sex, violence, horror, action, and all the cheesiness you could ask for. What follows is some of the best tributes to campy, cult, B-movies and exploitation flicks and all 3 of them excellently put together.

I am very very impressed.

THE DEAD WON'T DIE
Impressive make up fx. And I laughed my ass off at the random naked chick with the gun. This feels like Motel Hell, I Spit On Your Grave, and it feels like a Fulci Film. This is what I want the Monster Cop zombies to look like.


MAIDEN OF DEATH
This one was just well done overall. Feels a bit like The Crow meets I Spit On Your Grave.


And the winner is ...

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN
The title alone warrants a win. This one really nailed that Grindhouse feel. Now I feel like watching Death Wish. Is that even on DVD?



Amazing job guys!

Working On It.

Sample of the DVD Front Cover.

Strictly Background

I love this business. This is one of those docs that reminds me of how much fun it all is, and how everyone has a dream. Don't ever take your background for granted.

NIGHT OF THE COMET!!!!!

First off I have to say that I actually really enjoyed Hostel. And although I really don't have much desire to see part 2, I did enjoy what Eli Roth is saying about HOSTEL II.

6 Reasons Why Hostel Part II Will Mess You Up By Eli Roth

1. In the first movie it was the three guys, but in Hostel Part II the violence is harder to watch because it’s all aimed at women. And any violence aimed at women is always gonna have a sexual element...
   
2. Hostel Part II goes much deeper. It shows you who runs the torture chambers – the shadowy figures who are in control. Everything you need to know about the corporation is right here. And it’s fucking terrifying.
   
3. It also looks at it from the other angle: how do people get from seeing this shit advertised on the web to standing in a torture chamber cutting someone up? The people doing it are normal guys, like you and me...
   
4. I don’t hold back on this one. The Unrated DVD of Hostel went to No1 but I only had 30 seconds of extra material to put in. This one, I’m filming it all: the sickest shit you’ll ever see. The censor’s are gonna flip.
   
5. I show you all the blood, because I fucking love that stuff. But with Part II, I want more suspense. I love it in the first movie where the guy is dragged along the corridor: the dread. Here, the whole fucking movie’s like that.
   
6. There’s one scene in this film that’s gonna change horror history. Even the guys from [effects company] KNB looked away as we shot it, and those guys live and breathe that shit. It’s special. I’m really proud!

In my moviemaking opinion THAT's how you market a movie. Kudos to you Mr. Roth. You've actually got my semi interested.

More importantly ....

My world has just gotten a whole lot brighter. And here is why:

New on DVD. NIGHT OF


This movie is on my list of flicks I can watch all day long. Friday August 23rd 1985, Patrick spends entire day watching Night Of The Comet, pausing only once to watch a special episode of Macgyver that night. I love this movie, and it's not just because Kelli Maroney is frickin hot as a cheerleader with a sub machine gun.

And if you hadn't heard the news GUESS what's coming out from Lions Gate Home Video later this year. That's right bitches, It's THE mutherfuckin MONSTER SQUAD!!!!! Don't believe me, read this: http://www.movieweb.com/dvd/news/57/17857.php

WOLF MAN'S GOT NARDS!!!!



Oh what? What's that you say? Patrick's movie MONSTER COPS: THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL will be released on DVD on FRIDAY APRIL 13th? HOLY CRAP? REALLY!?

Yes.


I'm working on the special features as we speak. APRIL FRIDAY THE 13th, get your copy at monstercops.com, customflix.com, or amazon.com. It'll be available for digital download through amazon.com in June, and then we'll hit Blockbuster and Netflix before end of Summer. And all this year we'll still be hitting screenings at fests and conventions, including ...

ALL-CON DALLAS Sci-Fi/Fantasy/ Convention
March 17th

STARFEST/HORRORFEST Denver, Colorado
April 20-22 (Date and time pending)

More to come.


Goddamn, I love this movie making shit!

The Goodbye Girl

Sometimes it's good to be reminded of things. I think that's what makes forgetting such a precious necessity. You experience something incredible only to be reminded of it's greatness later in life. Such is the case with Neil Simon.

I mean really how can one forget the incredible work of Neil Simon. But when you go through life's roller coaster and experience more and more, it's easy to forget almost anything that isn't constantly around you. Tonight, my wife watched The Goodbye Girl for the first time. And for me it was like the first time as well. I'd only seen it twice before and it had been a long time. Upon watching the movie, I started to beat myself up for forgetting how good this movie is and how great Neil Simon is. But then I realized just how much fun I was having remembering and reliving all these great things. Great writing by Neil Simon. Great direction by Herbert Ross. Marsha Mason was charming and that little girl was hilarious. It's funny, it's witty, it's charming, it's smart, it's Richard Dreyfuss at his best, and possibly one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time.

And I needed it. I needed to be reminded of that spark, that light, that charisma. I needed to be reminded that life isn't just a roller coaster of emotion, ups and downs, but ins and outs, lefts and rights, brilliance and even more brilliance. The power of writing and performance and the power of the movies. I needed to be reminded of that as a writer, and I was. Now I just need to let the rest of me know.

Well it's for sure now that I need to reacquaint myself with the works of Neil Simon. I'll start with more movies. Biloxi Blues and Lost In Yonkers for sure. And I have a need to watch one of my favorite Dreyfuss/Detective movies, The Big Fix.

I now have for you my continuing education in origami, in video form of course.

The paper rose in color.

Paper Rose - The most amazing home videos are here

And the talking sheet of paper. Which isn't being received too well. I think it's because I unleash my craziness a little too much on this one. Go figure.

Make A Talking Sheet Of Paper - The best home videos are here

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

I guess I was jinxing things when last I posted about being sick.

I'm finally past my fever, cough, and cold. Just in time for some sort of stomach virus. I know it's mostly stress related. Induced by the current mood. Going to my second funeral in 5 months doesn't help. And still sinking back into sadened memories of the recent past. A local cop died, a friend of the family past away, and another commited suicide. And you never know when Juli will sink into that place where she does nothing but think about her mom. The only thing I can do is hold her. And somehow I feel like I'm not being a good enough husband, simply because I've been too sick to really hold her as tight as I want to. And I keep worrying about my Father and how my Mother is dealing with him. I also worry about Juli's Father and how he's dealing with recent tragedies. Can't help but let it all get to me sometimes.

So many details and tragedies and odd and eerie things to post about. But I'm too God Damned tired. Too tired of living though all this stuff to relive it in a blog. And I haven't even gotten to the part where I have to deal with the traditional stress that accompanies DIY Distribution. Such is the life of an indie movie maker. But honestly it could all be so much worse. Even with all the crap going on and going down, I can still look at the fact that I made a movie, and most importantly I've got Juli.

And it's not all Shitsville all the damned time either. We make plenty of time to laugh and remind ourselves of the more positive aspects of life. We're goofy people, so even after the crying and suffering, a stupid joke is somewhere around the corner to lighten the mood. If you're ever down and out, just sing "Dick in a Box" to yourself and your day gets brighter. The song is medicinal.

Gotta get off my ass pretty soon though. The DVD for The Midnight Special will be headed out on April 13th. Much marketing to do. Also must prepare for the ole wedding anniversary as well as Juli's Bday. Gotta get some gifts ready.

The Midnight Special will be screening at ALL-CON (sci-fi, fantasy, convention) in Addison, Texas, March 18th. Wish I could be there.

Monstercops.com

Website has been redone. In the process of updating all of the pages, so bare with me. Monster Cops now has it's own blog. Also I'll be adding more fun stuff and new videos.

Monstercops.com

WOW!

This is going to be quite cryptic, but perhaps someday I will explain. Right now I just need to document the fact that at this moment, I am quite humbled.

I've got a lot of interests, hobbies, practices. But tonight I witnessed a mastery of something that I thought I was pretty good at. And I am just blown away. I thought what I was doing was pretty spectacular, and now I've witnessed someone who can run circles around me. I am in awe, inspired, and humbled all at once. It's the kind of thing that really makes you realize that you need to concentrate on what you're good at and leave the rest to others who have the skills to take the game to a level you never dreamed. Play your own game, not someone elses.

I'm gonna take the spectator role in this show. I'll stick to making movies. I wish I could say what it was that I was dabbling in, but I'm just to thunder struck right now to go on. I'll just head on back to my little movie land and leave that other stuff to the pros.

Whew.

High Pitched Advertising

Saw this first on Matt Dentler's blog. Sony came up with an interesting way to advertise for the movie THE MESSENGERS. Utilizing high frequencies in commercials. I thought this was an interesting approach. Glad there are still some people in movie marketing still using the old noggin.

Here's an article all about it.

Candy Hearts and Knowing Your Movie

I'm just now, right at this moment, getting over being sick. As a matter of fact I'm still sick, and feeling a bit better, and most likely jinxing things by jumping the gun in posting this. It's been a bit of a rough week. The last time I was sick was back in October when Juli's mom died. So there was a bit there where I was reliving some things that really didn't really need reliving. Add in some other things. The father of an old friend of Juli's had passed away, Juli's Grandmother isn't doing all that well, and our old next door neighbor and a dear friend to me and Juli, and to Juli and her family long before I was in the picture isn't doing much better either.

I was quietly dealing with a small bout of depression, but I had a nice little cough and headache to keep me preoccupied. Juli ended up breaking down the other night. This vibe of illness, death, and depression seemed to swallow us this week. It has been a bit heartbreaking, but we've gotten really good a dealing with this kind of thing. The only thing that kept Valentine's Day from sucking was the simple fact that we have each other. And I decided to be silly super husband and brave the cold cold weather in my sick sick body to hunt down Juli's favorite candy hearts. Undercover of getting dinner and DVDs of course. That made her happy. At least I hope it did.

I'm not use to being sick. I don't really get sick that often. And when I do get sick I tend to want to still work on stuff. Especially movie stuff. So I spent the past few days struggling through a sore throat, annoying cough, stuffy nose, and sinus headaches, planning out screenings, fest entries, and convention screenings.

Thanks to Crystal for reminding me of what our exact demographic is and for pointing out conventions as a place to target our core audience. Monster Cops: The Midnight Special is, after all, Cult, Horror, SciFi, Comedy, Action. So it does reach a wide range of people. Thing is I was mainly working the Horror and Comedy crowds in my agenda. I had conventions in mind, but I was aiming mainly for horror themed cons. For some reason it didn't even occur to me to that our core audience would also be interested in general scifi fandoms. I had missed the SciFi aspect of The Midnight Special. I mean I knew it was there, but I was mainly concentrating on the two things The Midnight Special are at the forefront, Horror and Comedy.

Film Threat put out there "Top Ten Tips To Distributing Your Movie" years ago. In one section they mention Truly Understanding Your Film. The section talks of filmmaker Mark Bosko making his movie "Killer Nerd". Mr. Bosko thought he was making a simple horror film, but when he was distributing and marketing he discovered a new niche for the film, Horror Comedy. I don't know how you couldn't know from the title, Killer Nerd. But it's a good tip to truly identify what your movie is. Makes it much easier for you to identify who your audience is.

In my case I just didn't really look at it, and I would've missed a good opportunity to really get to the core audience of people who love Cult, Horror, Comedy, SciFi, Action movies. This is why I have specific people I call when I need data or assistance. Crystal is great with PR, and when I hit a point where I knew I needed to re identify our core audience in order to figure out everything I needed to supplement my agenda, I knew to call Crystal. She really hit the nail on the head with the SciFi Cons. Also helps that she's worked a few in her time.

What's great with alot of these cons is they seem open to screening indie movies. Many of them have just started their own little film festivals or at least have a video or screening room that runs movies through out the con. Even if it isn't an official screening, at least your movie will screen through out a convention run and you have the potential to reach hundreds of people. It's mainly just about having some sort of presence around your core audience. Also cons love to hand stuff out for free. Send them any promo items, especially ones with your URL on them (monstercops.com) and they'll be sure to put them in the hands of many if not all of their attendees. I'm documenting the entire process for a future article on Indies working with Cons.

Don't know how many cons Monster Cops: The Midnight Special maybe screening at, but I know it will be a couple at least. This will definitely be a great supplement to the festival screenings as well as the theatrical screenings we're going to organize.

Still have a ton of things to put together before we start getting people to the website. That is the big key here, getting people to the website, monstercops.com. this is where they will get to know the movie, get to love the movie, and then eventually where they will want to buy the movie.

To do:

- Update trailers. Cutting together a new trailer to supplement the official trailer.
- Upload clips of the movie. Must give the people a sample of the film if they're just coming to the site without having seen it at the screening. Gotta let them know what they're missing out on.
- Video Blogs. Gotta let the people know about the filmmaker. If they know you, they'll be more inclined to buy from you and support your efforts. At least I hope.
- Update all links and pages and put up some new content. Gotta keep em coming back for something until the DVD release.

- Must prep all marketing materials, fliers, cards, promo items, etc. for the conventions and possible other events.
- Still got a bunch more press kits and DVD screeners to make and burn.
- Still have a bunch of festivals to submit to.

OK gonna work on the site a bit, and email a few more cons.

Ooh, I hear the cough medicine calling me.

COOK OFF!

Check out COOK OFF!

COOK-OFF!

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And feel free to add them to your friends list if you have a Myspace. Tell everyone.
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This movie features Deidrich Bader, Jordan Black, Jennifer Elise Cox, Ben Falcone, Roy Jenkins, Phil Lamar, Steve Little, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Cathryn Michon, Neicy Nash, Markie Post, Jack Plotnick, Christine Rose, Romy Rosemont, Gary Anthony Williams, Jane Edith Wilson With featured appearances by: Louie Anderson, Gavin McLeod, Sam Pancake, Melissa Peterman, Marcia Wallace, Cedric Yarbrough.

To The Universe

I declare to you that I am an adventurer. A bringer of the light. The courier between dreams and action. I connect the molecules to the light. For I am the light. But then again aren't we all?

I hope my fellow CWGers and knowers of "The Secret" were doing what they needed to do 7:00 am this past Tuesday. Rock the fuckin house ya'll. Namaste to all you bad ass mother fuckers out there. Namaste.

And special thanks to my fellow indie that posted this on the LJ Filmmaking community. Right on time.

"The film of the future will be shot by adventurers...The film of tomorrow appears to me as even more personal than an individual and autobiographical novel, like a confession, or a diary. The young filmmakers will express themselves in the first person and will relate what has happened to them: it may be the story of their first love or their most recent; of their political awakening; the story of a trip; a sickness, their military service, their marriage, their last vacation...and it will be enjoyable because it will be true and new... The film of tomorrow will not be directed by civil servants of the camera but by artists for whom shooting a film constitutes a wonderful and thrilling adventure. The film of tomorrow will resemble the person who made it and the number of spectators will be proportional to the number of friends the director has. The film of the future will be an act of love."

-Francois Truffaut


Smart guy. ;)

Gigantipithicus in Kentucky

For reasons passing understanding, I found myself deep in research for a screenplay having to do with the following subjects. Gigantipithicus, Waverly Hills Sanatorium, and Fort Knox.

It all started innocently enough. I decided to leave for work early today, and then found myself entranced by The History Channel. This happens often. If it's not The History Channel, it's The Food Network. If it's not The Food Network, it's FitTV, mainly because I have a very unhealthy obsession with Namaste Yoga. I dare you to turn on a show where three hot chicks do hot yoga poses in a relaxing environment, and then try to change the channel, it's fuckin impossible. The History Channel had a special on The Gold Bullion Depository in Fort Knox, the design of the place, the history, the mystery, and the background of the Depository itself as well as Fort Knox Military Base next door. I'm a sucker for almost any show on building and design or military history and training and weapons or any kind of conspiracy, and this show had all of that goin on. So I popped in a tape and let it record as I left for work.

I had told my wife when she got home to just stop the tape, because the show should be finished by the time she got home. I went to work, got off work, got a bit of shooting done for some needed dialogue scenes for something I shall speak of later, and then got home after midnight. Did the usual, kissed the wife good night (she has to get up early), ate, showered, and then got on the computer as I rewound and watched the recorded program. And this is what happens often. I record a program on Discovery or History, and then I end up recording 4 hours worth of stuff because the tape doesn't get turned off til later. In this case Juli didn't get home til later, so the Fort Knox documentary was not the only program on the tape. It happens all the time with me. I watch the program I initially intended to watch, and then I continue to watch the following programs, and then somehow in my head I try to connect all of the programs subject matter into a story.

It never fails. I learn a bunch of stuff and immediately my brain goes, "Now how can this be turned into a script?" Ask me some other time about when I watched the show on Mega Freighter Ships and then watched that show on the History of licorice, yeah, it was a pretty fucked up plot. What normally happens is, I write a few notes down, and then forget about them as I get back on track with the business at hand. Not this time. For some reason I just couldn't get this little twisted plot out of my head.

It popped into my brain as I was watching the documentary on Fort Knox. Great stuff in this little doc. Covered everything from what is known about the depository, like how much Gold it may hold and how secure and guarded the area is, to what is not known, like speculation on the security measures of the place and whether or not the building is holding the Roswell Aliens. They also talked about Fort Knox Military Base, the training facility and how many modern day weapons are tested there. This was already turning all sorts of wheels in my head. I won't tell you details, because I hardly ever discuss scripts I work on. It's that whole birthday wish syndrome again. If I tell you it won't happen.

Suffice it to say I had this great visual story goin on and I was getting very excited with every intriguing detail from this doc. I will say that I'm thinking of something horror sci-fi based. And along those lines, it clicked in my head. Fort Knox, Kentucky. What else do you think of when you hear the word Kentucky Patrick? CHICKEN! How about a horror movie about Fried Chicken in Fort Knox? Ya know, like the Roswell aliens come to life, escape Fort Knox and turn all the soldiers into killer alien buckets of fried chicken?

OK not really.

What I did think of was, Waverly Hills Sanatorium. I started to wonder how far apart these two locations were. Was Fort Knox anywhere near Louisville where Waverly was located? I got REALLY curious. If you know nothing about Waverly Hills Sanatorium, all I will say is that most people call it THE MOST HAUNTED PLACE ON EARTH. Now click this link for more info. Pretty creepy stuff.

My brain started trying to tie the two subject together. Fort Knox conspiracies, Waverly Hills ghosts. Did some digging. Fort Knox wasn't too far away from Waverly, but they weren't right next door to each other. Still, close enough for me to put something together. And the plot I was conjuring in my head was just insane. It screams, action, horror, sci-fi. Very much along the lines of an old movie called The Keep. I would say go rent this movie, but it's extremely hard to find. It's a heck of a cast, and it's a Michael Mann horror movie.

So I've pretty much got a whole plot in my head just based on what I've got. But of course I continue watching the tape. What comes up next? A documentary on Fried Chicken. Just kidding.

It was a documentary on Gigantipithicus. Jeez, am I even spelling that right? Let's just call him G. G was basically the real life King Kong. A gigantic ape that lived ages ago. A relic of the past. The show did talk to people who believed there was some connection between G and Sasquatch. Fuckin Sasquatch. I swear to God I just can't get away from him. I attract it, I do. I can't turn on the TV without running into a show on Bigfoot. And I have to watch it. Monster sightings and conspiracies are like candy to me. I don't buy into the majority of it, and I'm more inclined to NOT believe in Bigfoot's existence, but I love this stuff anyhow. And more so lately because alot of what I'm trying to do with the Monster Cops movies is based on monster sighting footage. I'm obsessed with creating Monster Sighting footage. Can't wait to show you the next movie.

Anyhow. So now my brain is trying to cram Sasquatch into a supernatural, military, movie that takes place in Kentucky. Might as well throw in a subplot about The Colonel's Fried Chicken.

Part of it is just me trying to avoid the research I have to do on Video Compression and Mpeg2 DVD creation, yadda, yadda. It happens. I can't work on 1 thing. I have to work on 5 things. But seeing as how Haunted Fort Sasquatch is now number 6, looks like this goes on the back burner. But I'm getting back to it though. I REALLY like this plot I've got goin.

Great, now I want some fried chicken.

Oh yeah, try locating Waverly Hills Sanatorium on Google Maps, and see if you get creeped out like I did.

Florida

Hang in there Florida. Hang in there.

Guerrilla Marketing Gone Right

So the hot topic right now is the supposed terror threat in Boston, that actually turned out to be a marketing campaign for Adult Swim's Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

So lemme get this straight. Someone saw one of these things:



So what did they think the Joker sent his henchmen out to plant these things all over Gotham as well as the greater Boston area? I heard about electronic devices being spread around and thought, of course I would think someone was planting a bomb, but then I saw what they looked like and thought, this is what made Boston freak out and close down an interstate. I understand being on the side of caution, but come on, did someone really think that terrorists took the time to be creative and come up with some sort of logo to match their terror?

I've read 5 different blogs that said that it was a guerrilla marketing stunt gone wrong. What are you kidding me? This is the most successful guerrilla marketing tactic this year. Who cares if they got arrested? The two guys who were hauled off in handcuffs certainly didn't. They were all smiles. Why? One, because they knew they did nothing wrong, and two, because IT WORKED!!!! People are blogging about it. The news is eating it up. And those that did not know who Aqua Teen Hunger Force was certainly know now. Are you telling me that Adult Swim isn't going to use this to their advantage? These are the same people who bring you ROBOT CHICKEN as well as a cartoon about a talking beverage and fries.

I will say this though. Boston sure does have their shit together when it comes to reacting to a possible terrorist threat. The two guys were released from custody today and Turner Broadcasting has made an official apology. But I'm fairly certain they ain't too sorry. Especially after we see a rise in ratings on Adult Swim.

And what about those 9 other cities where these things were planted? I'll say either we've got 9 cities that can take a joke, or 9 cities highly under prepared for a terrorist attack from a mooninite.

If you go to the Adult Swim Homepage, there is a posted apology. But if you're familiar with Adult Swim, it's kind of hard to read this without hearing a tone of sarcasm followed by a small chuckle.

9:00 am

And I still haven't gone to bed yet. Why? Because I'm obsessed with movie marketing and self distribution.

My father has made a full recovery. So now that I can breath a little easier about that, I can continue to pester myself about details on the current front.

Just a few notes. As soon as I go to sleep, I'll have to get up 6 hours after that to run errands. Good things it's my day off. Also have to settle a few details, but it looks like maybe hopefully possibly we've got a lead on a screening here in Winston Salem, NC. for The Midnight Special. We shall see how and if it happens. Hopefully today also marks the day I get to actually begin to work on updating some videos and the sites. This means new trailers for TMS and a ton of footage that's begging to be turned into two video blogs and DVD extras for TMS. We are also one step closer to bringing TMS to DVD. After today I'll know for sure if it's going to be March or April for a release date. And we begin the process of platform theatrical releases and screenings. But more on that later.

A couple of notes as far as marketing is concerned. I'm taking a few notes from foureyedmonsters.com and theindywoodproject.com.

Hey look. A bed.

According to my bro, Dad is fine. He's stable and was moved out of ICU and to a hospital closer to their house. So it looks like everything's ok for now. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers.

I now go to spend some quality time with my wife. She insists on watching this horror movie that scares the crap out of her and she refuses to watch it alone.

Off I go to be super husband guy.

Wow

I had no idea. Just found out about this. A little bit of something positive to keep me up. Horror Bob over at the Horror Review put up his top 10 of 2006. And my movie The Midnight Special ranked #2 for the year. Right under Lance Weiller's Head Trauma and right above Night Watch and Feast. Wow. Thanks Horror Bob. That is quite an honor.

View the list here.

No news yet on my father. As far as I know he's in ICU in the Phillipines. Some other bits of tragedy have arisen that I really don't want to rehash online. I'm just so worried about my family.

It happens. It's all ups and downs and sometimes you don't know when the downs are coming. Usually comes when your concentrating on staying up. I just got myself psyched up about self distribution. Now I can't concentrate.

I feel like I got the wind knocked outta me. I'm not ready for another tragedy. I wish I had the energy to work. I just wanna work. So much to get done. But all I've been doing all day is stare at the wall.

I'll fight through it though. Gotta stay positive.

My father just had a heart attack.

It's late and everyones asleep. I don't want to wake anyone. So I'm posting it here and on my livejournal.

I'm just waiting to hear about his condition.

Map Test

Don't mind me, this is just a test. Researching how this whole mapping idea works. Taking a page from the guys over at Foureyedmonsters. They've become an internet and indie film sensation with the ways they've come up to market their movie. As a fellow indie I'd be a fool not to follow in the same foot steps. One step they took in particular that I am fond of, and will attempt as well, is the idea of a map where people can post where they want the movie to be screened. If they could get 150 people to request the movie on their map in a specific area then they could get a screening of the movie there.

I'm in the midst of talking to a few theatres about setting up screenings, and it looks good, as long as I can prove that there is an audience. So here I go messing with map schemes. This may take me a bit.

X-Men Gag Reel Sample

I thought this was kinda neat.

Uncharted

I try not to do anything unless I research it to death. And lemme tell ya I think I know more about cable advertising and media buying then I ever wanted to know. All this research is part of the marketing plan. No, no, don't expect to see any Monster Cop commercials anytime soon. But perhaps in the future. Just trying to flesh out every bit of the agenda. You can add on top of all that the current research on guerrilla marketing that I've been brushing up on. I've always been a fan of Jay Conrad Levinson. I feel I've learned much about marketing from all of his books.

I found myself wondering around the book stores and libraries today before going into work. I realized that there was really nothing for me to look for. Most of the research I needed has been online. If it is in book form, I've already read it. After perusing most of Mr. Levinson's teachings, which I had actually read years ago, I realized that there was nothing left to learn. Ok, well that's not true, there is always something to learn. But as far as a book on filmmaking, independent movie making, movie marketing, low budget production, digital production, and DIY distribution? I don't think there is anything left for me to read.

I flipped through the usual mags, Filmmaker, Moviemaker, yadda yadda. Don't get me wrong, great mags they are, but I don't need another article telling me how easy it has become to self distribute. Every article, every book, every piece of paper that had anything to do with movie making or distributing, I had already read, or already knew what it was going to say.

The thing is much of that info is obsolette. I picked up a book on No budget distribution, published just last year, already the data in it was outdated. It is after all January 2007. Technology is moving fast and the opportunities for DIY movie making and distribution are growing faster than can be documented. It's pretty easy to find publications that already have it wrong just weeks after they've been published. It's come down to it. The knowledge has caught up to the present. Nothing in books can prepare me. It's all about the current trends being reported now.

It was just today that I learned of 2 new trends in technology and marketing that will be quite useful for the indie distributor. Hopefully I'll get to utilize them soon. All the old data I've already consumed, and the new stuff I'm keeping an eye on. The preliminary research is over, and it's time to start taking some very big steps. We're most definitely off the map here, and perhaps soon, instead of me reading the news, I'll be making some.

This whole DIY distribution thing is some scary shit.

Ain't it cool?

- P

Without A Box

The Golden Globes. Yeah, I forgot about em. I was at work.

The Superbowl. I'll probably forget about that too.

The Oscars. I really don't care.

The Superbowl, well, that has to do with me not keeping up with any sporting even that didn't involve cards, pool, or free form fighting this past year. As far as awards. I'm at the point where I don't really care what movie wins an award, because I've got my brain wrapped around making and marketing my own. However I am quite happy that Jennifer Hudson won. And it's about damn time Eddie Murphy received something as well as Forest Whitaker. So good for them. And Sacha Baron Cohen, yes I am happy you won too. But I'm still envious that you get to bang Isla Fisher with frequency. So congrats and screw you.

I didn't care to tune in, cuz I'd rather be working. I'm glad for the winners, but I don't find myself taking nights off for award shows or TV events anymore. Unless there is some sort of segment on Indie Self distribution, I most likely will not be tuning in to the Oscars. Especially if I'm working, either at the day job or my real job.

I find myself lately surrounded by budget sheets and scrap pieces of paper covered in scribbles of numbers and prices and costs and sales figures. I'm trying to take a note from a wise piece of advice Lance Weiller (The Last Broadcast) said in an article on DIY Distribution. "Don't lose that same empowerment that you felt when you picked up the camera and shot the film in the first place."

So very true. It doesn't end when the movie is in final cut. That is honestly only the beginning. And since that final edit last year, it's been a bumpy road that hasn't really alloted me the chance to get going. But I've got my second wind back, and I'm ready to get going on distribution.

I'm aiming for a DVD release date of March, but in reality it may be more like April. This is also going to coincide with Festival Screenings as well as separate theatrical screenings. Any place I can show this movie I will and at the same time let people know that they can own it on DVD. This is also going to coincide with some fundraising for the sequel. I'm going full steam ahead on MONSTER COPS the movie. The series will come after. I fully garuntee an interesting and fun fundraising and marketing ride. Get the bail money ready, cuz I've got a plan.

I've got 5 packages to send out. Each with a DVD screener/press kit/promo kit. I already did one video about the basic DVD screener creation and what that entails, but I'm documenting the creation of the full kit and promo materials. I hope to have that up in a few weeks.

I really don't know what I would do without WITHOUTABOX. If you're an indie filmmaker and you're not utilizing Withoutabox.com, than you are just plain missing out. It's a festival data base and a one stop shop for entering festivals online. No need to fill out any paper work, now you can find the fest or fests you want, submit your info and press kit details, have your entry form and applications filled out automatically online, pay all of your entry fees online, and all you have to do is mail your DVD screener in. Entering fests have been so much easier since Withoutabox came along a few years back. It's also a huge help that you get discounts on many of these fest fees.

And they've really grown too. Almost every fest on the planet has signed up with them, making it easier to enter fests in one shot. Now they also provide DVD on demand delivery. They will burn and send in your DVD everytime you enter a fest online. Soon they will be much like Indieflix or Customflix where indies can distribute there DVD's on demand. They've even started something called AUDIENCE. It's pretty much MYSPACE for Filmmakers. Got a movie to promote, you can start your own Audience Page and upload pics, info, and trailers. Check out THE MIDNIGHT SPECIALS AUDIENCE PAGE. Many films have already used Audience to build buzz about their movie.

I'll tell ya though it's getting hectic having to keep up with all these promo pages. Audience, Myspace, Indieloop, etc. But it's worth it everytime I see how many new hits there are on monstercops.com. How the hell are we so popular in Germany? Everytime I check the stats, there's 20 new hits from Germany. I don't think I've even sent a screener out that far. Whatever, as long as they spend as much time as they do on the site getting to know the movie, I'm cool with it.

As posted on the WTW Blog, there will be some major changes to monstercops.com and whethertheweather.com. Got some major work to do.

When dealing with distributors ...

it's always a good idea to consult the people they are already distributing.

Got a few emails from some people I contacted about a few of these distributors that keep tugging at me. And boy am I glad I contacted them. I've learned some very interesting things about some of these fairly popular companies. Now I'm not gonna name any names, or give away too much, that would just be bad business karma. But just know, over the next year, I'll be helping out my fellow indies by getting the word out about their product. I swear some of these guys just plain got screwed by their distributor. And these are some VERY good movies.

One indie filmmaker in particular made a deal with, let's call them Company A. Company A has had there movie for about 4 years now and they've barely done any marketing and have only sold about 500 copies. I'm hoping to God their contract is up with Company A soon. This particular movie is EXTREMELY marketable and a decent distributor should have no problem at least clearing 10,000 copies a year. Let's say you sell 10,000 DVD's at about 11 dollars each, that's $110,000.00 a year, and if the contract is 70 percent of profits to the distributor and 30 percent to the filmmaker, after the expenses have been recouped we're talking at least $24,000.00 to the filmmaker for one year. In 4 years that should have been a total of $96,000.00 that should have been paid to the filmmaker. In this case since Company A has only sold 500 copies in 4 years, the profit goes to recouping expenses of the distributor first. Which basically means this particular filmmaker hasn't seen a dime.

Tip: Be sure there is a stipulation in your contract with the distributor that says if they don't earn you X amount of dollars within X amount of time, then you retain all rights.

And what's even sadder is that we are only talking about DVD sales. What about pay-per-view, digital download, mobile video, cable, even theatrical? Your distributor should be busting his ass getting your movie out there. He should be hitting the pavement screaming to people about the catalog of great movies he has including yours. I swear talking to some of these filmmakers and really hearing these horror stories, just confirms my beliefs. Why am I going to hand over my movie to someone who is only going to do what I can do myself? The problem with DIY distribution is that you may not have the clout and weight of an experienced distribution company, but I've got the contact info for the pay-per-view folks, I know that I can easliy make my movie available on DVD, online, and even in some retail outlets, I can put my movie up for digital downloads, and I'm not that far off reaching basic cable. And as far as marketing is concerned, hearing the inside track of what alot of these companies do to get marketing done, is basically what I was going to do except I won't have to pay someone else to do it.

Unless a distributor can come up to me and offer me something that I can't do, then maybe I'll work with them. But for alot of these companies that I've been dealing with, I've been doing the research, I've been getting the info, and it doesn't sound like you can do any better job than I can. As a matter of fact it sounds like I can do a much better job than you, because I've got the full passion of this project. I love this movie. It's my baby and who better to take care of it than the baby daddy. Yeah that's right, I got fuckin ghetto on your ass.

Bottom line is, if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.

ya-ya ya know it!

And yes I've been listening to the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack.

AND SPEAKING OF GHOSTBUSTERS! Look what was leaked recently.

GHOSTBUSTERS 360 BITCHES!!!!


But apparently there are some licensing issues, so there is a possibility this is as close to a game (or a sequel) we'll ever get. I'd also like to note that this is similar to the look I'm going for with MONSTER COPS / SHADOW COMPANY. For a few of the action scenes that is.


Checkout More Here at Team XBOX

Life is on the wire, the rest is just waiting.

Thanks for that one Papa Wallenda. If you don't know about the high flying Wallendas, they are an elite group of high wire walkers. Papa Wallenda was the first of em. The Daddy of all tight rope walkers. And here he does indeed speak the gospel. Life is indeed on the wire. And I'm on it man. That's what it feels like right now. I'm walking that tight rope. Just trying to keep my balance. One false move and I'm gone. Just trying to make friends with gravity.

You'll have to forgive me if you're one of the many people who have messaged me, emailed me, or called. I'll get back to you soon. Right now I'm on the wire. Too busy trying to keep my balance. And I got people on all sides tuggin at me. Tellin me to go one way or another. Lemme tell you, this whole movie distribution thing is kickin me in the ass. Just in the last 24 hours, a few things have occured to change the way the game is played. Could be good and maybe even great, but it all depends on how steady I can keep it. Right now I'm just fascinated by how quickly things can change once you think you've made the right decision.

I had a few offers for the movie. I picked one. When one didn't look like it was going to work out. I decided to self distribute. And man I got gung ho about it. I had a plan all worked out. In the past two weeks, I've been making deals, talking to sponsors, hooking up screenings, talking to fests, and planning out convention appearances. I was ready to take this bad boy on tour. I got excited about the idea of handling my own movie, as opposed to handing it over to a company and let them handle my baby while I collect a small percentage off of something I've been busting my ass on for the past 3 years.

Here I am all excited, then that's when all of the companies that I've been denying, come back at me with better offers. And then the one that I picked originally has come back into the picture as well. Now, I'm not complaining. It's an excellent dilemna to be in. I remember when I had my first movie, and I was getting denied by crappy art house theatres. But it's a dilemna nonetheless. I want to stay independent, because in my hands I know what kind of noise I can make. I know what kind of publicity I can create and I get to keep one hundred percent of the profits. In the hands of a distributor, it's a garuntee that my movie will be available, but I won't have that much control over the business of it, and I only get a percentage of the profits.

And that's not even all of it. There's many other factors to consider. And the hits just keep on comin. And I can't seem to wrap my brain around anything else.

What would Papa Wallenda do?

Well maybe I'm looking to the wrong person as an example. He did fall to his death off of a tight rope. They say it was the high winds that blew him down. The family says there was a problem with the wire.

Lesson: Before proceeding across the high wire, check the weather, and secure the rope.

I got it.

Make your very own GRINDHOUSE Trailer

Press Release as follows:

Austin, TX - January 15, 2007 - The South by Southwest (SXSW) Film Festival is putting out a call to filmmakers who would like to submit their best "grindhouse trailer," in honor of the April release from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, Grindhouse. A sample of the best submissions will be judged by Rodriguez himself, and presented during SXSW, on March 11, 2007.

Filmmakers have a deadline of February 12 to submit their “grindhouse trailer” (no longer than two minutes in length) to SXSW. The trailer should be made for a fictional feature-film, just like those being made by celebrity directors Eli Roth and Rob Zombie for Grindhouse. From those submissions, Rodriguez will determine the best of the bunch, and it will screen during a special presentation entitled “Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse 101” on Sunday, March 11. During the presentation, Rodriguez will share stories and footage from the making of the upcoming Dimension Films release.

“We really want filmmakers to come up with something fun, scary, freaky, and out-of-this-world for the competition,” says SXSW Festival Producer Matt Dentler. “This competition, like Grindhouse itself, is in the true spirit of innovative and fast-paced filmmaking.”

Submissions must arrive no later than February 12, to: “SXSW Grindhouse Trailers,” P.O. Box 4999, Austin, TX 78765. There is no application fee, but the trailers must be under two minutes in length, and made within the last 12 months. Films that have already been submitted to SXSW for 2007 consideration, are not eligible. The 2007 SXSW Film Festival occurs March 9-17 throughout downtown Austin, TX. Grindhouse will open nationwide on April 6, 2007.

Farm Sluts

Hilarious Short Film from Fox Searchlight's Videos. Starring Chris Parnell.

Liberation is near enough; there's no need to rush.

Today's tip boys and girls: Be cool.

Dear Patrick,

Don't rush. First timer's rush. There's a bit of experience here. You're no first timer. You've done this before. Nice and easy wins the race. No, no, I'm not saying stop the plan, or not do anything. I'm saying take a pause if need be, but while in motion, be cool baby. You can't run outta hell, the demons will snatch you up quick. If you can be cool and walk, they won't even pay you any attention. Be cool.

So you've got this movie. People seem to like it. A few distributors seem to want it. But you've decided to self distribute because you wanna keep the rights to your own work and you've got a solid plan in place. Cool. But things start to fall apart. Are they really falling apart? Is this the time to panic? No. It's time to be cool. Let the chips fall where they may, and then find your way around it. Be cool. Oh, what's the big deal? The computer's fuckin up? It won't let you burn DVD's. It's being immensely slow. Well of course it's being slow. It's a 4 year old computer with a shitty processor. You use the damn thing for everything from editing movies to composing music, what did you think was going to happen.

So go get it fixed. What? It costs too much and you might as well get a new computer? Well then get a new computer? What? You can't afford one. Then save up for it. Stop whining Patrick, and save up for it. Just like everything else you've had to do, work for it, save for it, but for God's sakes, stop bitching and just be cool. Plus, it's not like you're not making money. Stop being a stingy assed bastard with the dough, be financially smart, wait a few weeks, and I'm sure you'll be back on track, but until then I'm sure there is plenty for you to do that doesn't involve the computer. Yes, yes I know you've got a ton of emails from people wanting a screener. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you. Oh poor Patrick, people want to see his movie. Shut the fuck up. At least you've got people wanting to see it. Email them bitches back and let em know there is a delay. Until then get off your whiny ass.

Yeah, yeah, you're panties are all in a bunch because it's been an emotional year, and so many tough things, SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE KNOW it's been a tough fuckin year. Stop crying about it and stop using it as an excuse to give up or make amateur mistakes, and get on with the real plan. The computer problem will be fixed, just like when the camera broke in the middle of production. What did you do? You spent two weeks working on graphics and titles until you could finally get a new camera. See all better and you got other shit done at the same time. Same situation, it's just happening now at the distribution and marketing end. It'll be all ok in a matter of weeks, so stop it. So shut up and be cool.

Yes I know other things are going on here as well. Emotional stuff, family stuff, personal stuff. But don't you dare make this an excuse to stop doing the other things that need to be done. You've got some shooting to do. You've got plenty of shots to get and that doesn't require a computer, so go get em. Um, also I believe there are a ton o press kits for you to piece together. And rewrite that frickin press release already. And stop watching Dick In A Box, I know it's funny, but it's getting a little gay you watching it so many times, and you're eventually going to get yourself in trouble when you finally sing it too loud at work. And get a hair cut.

Today's word is:
foofaraw: excessive or flashy ornamentation; also, a fuss over a trivial matter.

In other news, my theatre is going totally digital. By Thursday there will be only three 35mm projectors and that's only as back ups to three of the digital houses. For the most part all theatres will be completely digital. The upside is, that as a projectionist my job just got mega easy. The downside is that as a tech my knowledge of 35mm projectors is out the window. And believe me I've been studying my ass off on every manual I can find on these digitals. This is a whole new world and a whole new era. Exciting and surreal all at once. No more hum from the projector motors. No sound of 35mm film running through loops in the projector head. No more sounds of squeaky platters spinning. Now it's all about pixels, sattelite uplink, and hard drive ingestion. But I'll post more on that later. I actually may end up doing a video about it for CurrentTV. If time permits.


In perpetuity. So bad ass.

The Greatest Commercial In The History Of The World