Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Liberation is near enough; there's no need to rush.

Today's tip boys and girls: Be cool.

Dear Patrick,

Don't rush. First timer's rush. There's a bit of experience here. You're no first timer. You've done this before. Nice and easy wins the race. No, no, I'm not saying stop the plan, or not do anything. I'm saying take a pause if need be, but while in motion, be cool baby. You can't run outta hell, the demons will snatch you up quick. If you can be cool and walk, they won't even pay you any attention. Be cool.

So you've got this movie. People seem to like it. A few distributors seem to want it. But you've decided to self distribute because you wanna keep the rights to your own work and you've got a solid plan in place. Cool. But things start to fall apart. Are they really falling apart? Is this the time to panic? No. It's time to be cool. Let the chips fall where they may, and then find your way around it. Be cool. Oh, what's the big deal? The computer's fuckin up? It won't let you burn DVD's. It's being immensely slow. Well of course it's being slow. It's a 4 year old computer with a shitty processor. You use the damn thing for everything from editing movies to composing music, what did you think was going to happen.

So go get it fixed. What? It costs too much and you might as well get a new computer? Well then get a new computer? What? You can't afford one. Then save up for it. Stop whining Patrick, and save up for it. Just like everything else you've had to do, work for it, save for it, but for God's sakes, stop bitching and just be cool. Plus, it's not like you're not making money. Stop being a stingy assed bastard with the dough, be financially smart, wait a few weeks, and I'm sure you'll be back on track, but until then I'm sure there is plenty for you to do that doesn't involve the computer. Yes, yes I know you've got a ton of emails from people wanting a screener. Am I supposed to feel sorry for you. Oh poor Patrick, people want to see his movie. Shut the fuck up. At least you've got people wanting to see it. Email them bitches back and let em know there is a delay. Until then get off your whiny ass.

Yeah, yeah, you're panties are all in a bunch because it's been an emotional year, and so many tough things, SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE KNOW it's been a tough fuckin year. Stop crying about it and stop using it as an excuse to give up or make amateur mistakes, and get on with the real plan. The computer problem will be fixed, just like when the camera broke in the middle of production. What did you do? You spent two weeks working on graphics and titles until you could finally get a new camera. See all better and you got other shit done at the same time. Same situation, it's just happening now at the distribution and marketing end. It'll be all ok in a matter of weeks, so stop it. So shut up and be cool.

Yes I know other things are going on here as well. Emotional stuff, family stuff, personal stuff. But don't you dare make this an excuse to stop doing the other things that need to be done. You've got some shooting to do. You've got plenty of shots to get and that doesn't require a computer, so go get em. Um, also I believe there are a ton o press kits for you to piece together. And rewrite that frickin press release already. And stop watching Dick In A Box, I know it's funny, but it's getting a little gay you watching it so many times, and you're eventually going to get yourself in trouble when you finally sing it too loud at work. And get a hair cut.

Today's word is:
foofaraw: excessive or flashy ornamentation; also, a fuss over a trivial matter.

In other news, my theatre is going totally digital. By Thursday there will be only three 35mm projectors and that's only as back ups to three of the digital houses. For the most part all theatres will be completely digital. The upside is, that as a projectionist my job just got mega easy. The downside is that as a tech my knowledge of 35mm projectors is out the window. And believe me I've been studying my ass off on every manual I can find on these digitals. This is a whole new world and a whole new era. Exciting and surreal all at once. No more hum from the projector motors. No sound of 35mm film running through loops in the projector head. No more sounds of squeaky platters spinning. Now it's all about pixels, sattelite uplink, and hard drive ingestion. But I'll post more on that later. I actually may end up doing a video about it for CurrentTV. If time permits.

In perpetuity. So bad ass.

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