Pressure

I was supposed to go to sleep a few hours ago. But as usual, something happens to keep me wide awake. Two things.

1. Nike may very well be making an announcement about a certain shoe many Back To The Future fans may be interested in.

Thanks to Mark Wilson for posting this on G+. This teaser just kills me.

My mind is blown at the possibility of these shoes being real. Next up, Hover-board please!

2. Monster Cops

I swore I wouldn't talk about it, blog about it, express it in any way, but I've seen a few posts online and her a few podcasts talking about comparisons between MTV's Death Valley and Monster Cops.

It's got me riled up.

And not because I'm angry at MTV. In actuality, I'm not angry at anyone for any reason. Seems like plenty of people are angry on my behalf.  Alot of folks seem to think that MTV stole from me and have completely ripped off Monster Cops. And I've gotten MANY messages from people telling me so.

First of all, I'm happy there are alot of people out there who love Monster Cops. I think that's great that there are alot of folks out there willing to be pissed on my behalf. But the truth is, I don't really care about MTV's Death Valley. And if they stole from me, I really don't care about that either.

People keep telling me to sue them, but they haven't done anything illegal. The concept is similar (and actually alot of the scenes and clips somewhat resemble the first Monster Cops movie The Midnight Special), but legally they've done nothing wrong. You can sue someone over an idea. Any copyright lawyer will tell you that.

What I'm riled up about is that I know what I see for Monster Cops. I don't even actually see it as a web series. I have a very specific vision about what Monster Cops is and what it can be, and I'm anxious to get that vision out to you.

Lord, how many times have I blogged about how passionate I am about writing these Monster Cops episodes? If you track back a few years on this blog, you'll read about it over and over. Me WHINING again and again, about what it is I have in my head, and how I dream of getting that out to the masses, and about how if I can just get one episode right, even on the minimal budget we have, and get it out to the proper audience, it would be a hit.

And when I say hit, I'm not talking about making money. I'm talking about people actually being able to see it for free online, and sending me messages that tell me that they got it. They got the plot, they got what the episode was trying to say, and they got to feel exactly how I was hoping they would feel. They would laugh, be thrilled, be creeped out, and even cry.

I'm just so very anxious to get out more than the two episodes that are already out there. I'll be happy if I can get the full 6 episodes online and have the word spread that if they go to MONSTERCOPS.COM they could watch a fun series, filled with action and horror, excitement and comedy, and be surprised by the fact you also get a solid character driven drama to go along with that.

For the rest of September I have to work on Ads and Commercial work. Production on Redd and Monster Cops will be on hold until October. I'm anxious for October to get here, so I can get to work on that vision.

I have no idea who reads this, or if anyone at all is reading this. But if you do, and if you've got sometime, do me a favor, check out my series Monster Cops as well as the feature I'm working on, REDD. And if you like what you see, please, please, please, tell someone.

REDD will be do out next year. Check out and tell people about that website REDDMOVIE.COM

And check out and tell people about MONSTERCOPS.COM

Let em know that there are 2 episodes up, each about 20 minutes, and there will be at least 4 more episodes coming soon. They're free to watch, you can even download em, copy and sell em on DVD and keep the money. I don't even care about making any money from Monster Cops. I just want to make these 6 episodes the best that I can, and get it out to as many people to see as humanly possible. Who doesn't love free entertainment right?

I've been working on Monster Cops for so long. I really feel like it's time I finally got my vision for it out there.

Whatcha Gonna Do?

Cross Posted from The Monster Cops Blog

We are on the verge of completing at least one more episode by October, with at least 3 more to follow. So it would be a good thing to have a bit of buzz going on for our little cult series.

So we find it frickin fabulous that a couple of site have taken notice of us.

Killer Aphrodite gave us a really great write up. Check that out here:http://www.killeraphrodite.com/2011/08/monster-cops-series/

And Evil Episodes has also given us mad props as well: http://evilepisodes.com/2011/08/24/bad-boys-bad-boys-watcha-gonna-do-watcha-gonna-do-when-the-monster-cops-come-for-you/

We're quite excited about the new buzz and hope it continues. We are, after all, no budget, and we have to rely heavily on word of mouth. SO, if you like what you see here, and want to help us out, then please tell a friend. Post us on your Facebook, Tweet us on your Twitter, plaster out url on your naked body and run around screaming "I LOVE MONSTER COPS!"

Maybe not that last one (unless you want to). Don't blame us if you get arrested. But if you happen to be near some folks in jail, please tell them about us.

Excited about these episodes, we're going to kind of break some rules, but it's kind of ok, because this series will be completely free for you to see online. No need to purchase a download, or a DVD, these particular episodes will be totally free for your enjoyment. Why? Because everybody's frickin broke. And free stuff is awesome.

But how do we make money, you ask? We don't. We put it out there, hope you love it, and then see what happens.

That's how we role.

More, very very soon! 

Dancing In The Moonlight

What a truly great and fun day I had with my wife. I'm seriously the luckiest guy ever.

I know it's going to work out. I know it'll be amazing. I hear you. But I'm just anxious to see how.

August Update. Redd, Monster Cops, and a New Web Series

Keep Me Where The Light Is

Image taken from operaphantom.net

I dreamed I was at a movie theater.

I was walking down the hall and I found my Godfather, Ray, sitting in a directors chair in the middle of the hall just outside one of the auditoriums.

I asked him how the movie was. He had this mixed reaction of laughter and fear. Like it was the most amusing yet terrifying thing he'd ever seen.

He then seemed in awe of whatever movie it was he'd seen (not sure what it was).

He put his hand on my shoulder, looked at me directly, and said.

"You  have to start having nightmares like that."

My immediate thought was "No."

I cringed a little when he said that.

I woke up.

I realize he was implying that if I wanted to create something as great as what he had seen, that I needed to feel and experience the same kind of terror. And I get it. Write what you know. And if you're trying to create a nightmare, then you have to start experiencing nightmares.

I'm fond of horror. From a very young age, it was a symptom of being tortured by my older brothers. As we were one of the first families on the block to have cable tv, they almost always messed with me by putting on whatever scary movie was playing that month (Friday The 13th part 2, Salem's Lot, etc.) Stuff that they new scared the crap out of me.

I mean it is what you do to your little brother, and I was the littlest.

As I got older, horror movies became something I would dare myself to tolerate, because they scared me so much. I could even stand in the horror section of the local Video Library.

I forced myself to face it, embrace it, and visibly so in front of my brothers. Cuz if it looked like I was enjoying them, even loving them, then it was pointless to try to scare me.

Eventually I would truly start to appreciate them. I wanted to make movies after all, so it only made sense that I would find interest in how even horror movies were made. I got really curious about how to make monsters, murder, and mayhem, in that grandiose and cinematic fashion.

But the truth of it was, I loved movie in general. More so than horror.

Especially now, it has become more evident that it's really just the old horror flicks from the 70's and 80's that I revel in. And I realize that it's mostly for nostalgia's sake.

In reality, I'm a little sensitive when it comes to some of that stuff. Alot of the more recent bloodier, gorey, brutal fare, don't really appeal to me.

In truth, I look to horror movies that lean more on fun than shock.

As much as it may appear that I revel in the dark, it's the light that I love so much more.

The movies I love are the movies I want to make. Fun, thrilling, entertaining, inspired, enlightened, refreshed, child like, and dazzlingly brilliant.

And that's why I cringed when I was told that I needed to start having nightmares in order to create. Because inevitably I feel like my inspiration comes from the light. And the creative brilliance that comes from your highest and grandest dreams.

I stand by the phrase, "In order to make a beautiful picture, you'll need to use dark colors." But in truth, I love all the colors on my pallet., and the countless numbers of portraits I can paint.

I know, the light can't exist without the dark.

I just want to be kept where the light is.

Pandora's Box

The day my brother died, I was of course crushed.

I was lost for a bit.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that my world had fallen apart. But I will say it felt different. Nothing seemed like it was where it was supposed to be. My existence felt like it was rearranged. My entire history felt like a dream.

My brother Robert was a huge part of my world, my history, my childhood. Something that you thought would never be taken away, was all of a sudden gone.

When someone close to you leaves, you search for familiarity. You want something that feels like home. Something to take you in, tell you it's going to be alright, but not to your face. You want something to speak this truth to your soul.

And how the hell does that work. How do you comfort something so powerful and low as a spirit that feels broken. How do you mend that?

I found out how.  I started listening.

To Pandora that is. I have a couple different stations on Pandora. One I labeled "think".

I don't even remember what it was I had typed in to fill in that list. But as soon as I played it, I started hearing music that spoke directly to me. One song after the other turned out to be exactly what I wanted to hear, what I needed to hear, what my soul, my spirit, my broken heart, needed to feel.

I cried my eyes out.

Every song either brought me back to a time I forgot, a moment and a memory I had lost, or it spoke to me, agreeing with me when I needed to be agreed with, and more so telling me what I needed to hear when I didn't know what to think, what to feel, what to do.

Have you ever been lost in the woods or lost your way driving around? Do you know that despair you feel when you realize you've lost your way. Even if it's just for a few seconds. When you realize that you don't know where you are, and you don't know how to find your way out, or find your way back.

That relief that comes to you when you find your way, when you realize that you're not completely lost and you know how to get home.

That's how I felt listening to each song that came on. Each song brought me home.

I can't say it completely healed me. It didn't fully mend my broken heart. But it did speak to my spirit. It let me know that it was going to be ok. That my brother is ok. That we're all ok.

And I believe that. We're all going to be ok. As long as we can find a way to listen.

I'm not saying when in doubt go listen to Pandora. I'm saying when you're looking for answers, even to the toughest questions, you'll often find the universe telling you the answers.

If you're listening.

Holy Shit!

Damn. I got really deep there, didn't I.

Ok, ok, look, I'm not a Shaman, or a religious nut, nor am I a spiritual freak of nature.

I'm just a guy. Going through shit. Just like the rest of us, I mean we're all going through shit.  I'm just saying that, if you need a bit of guidance out there to get you through your particular shit, I believe there is something out there, something more, something bigger, that is conspiring to help you get through.

But you've got to look for the signs, listen for the cues. For me, that day it was Pandora. Other days it's a line from a movie, or a passage from a book, or a bit of a conversation I hear when I pass by someone at the grocery store.

Whatever it is, it's out there, and I do believe that it wants you to succeed. It wants to help you as long as you're willing to help yourself.

It's out there, I know, I've seen it, I've felt it, and I've definitely heard it.

Ok. What's going on with Redd?

Well, we've been shooting, and shooting, and shooting. And I'm confident we can get this all finished up by October and have a local screening in November.

Dealing with scheduling conflicts. My main actress may disappear off to college before we can get all of her stuff shot, so I'm trying to figure out a way around that.

It's getting horribly hectic by the minute, and I'M LOVING IT!

I can't wait to see this movie, and I definitely can't wait for you to see this movie.

P

Dolly in

Don't tell me there's no such thing as magic. You couldn't possibly know what I've seen, heard, felt tonight. If you did then you'd believe like I do.

I'm going to do my best to show you.

This is a commercial, and you'll never guess for what.

Brilliant!

Amy Winehouse

Questlove on Amy Winehouse

Notes:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jawn

Thank you Amy. Really.

Birthdays and Visual FX Research

After Dinner Cheesecake while watching The Office

 When I was a kid, my family, especially my Dad, always made a big deal out of my birthday. I recall Tiki torches and makeshift Luaus, extreme catering with Filipino Food, large potlucks, cheesy birthday cakes, and themes ranging from Star Wars to Spiderman.

Yesterday I turned 36. And I didn't care one bit about what I did for my birthday. Long gone are those days that I craved a ton of attention, cake, toys, and parties. Now all I want to do is make this movie(s) happen. Even if that means working on it for my birthday.

I got my wish.

Not to say this wasn't a day without some sort of a celebration. My wife insisted we cook some classic Filipino food. Lumpia and Pancit. Never had it? IT'S DELICIOUS.

Takes a bit to prepare, but it's worth it.

We cooked, had a fine meal, afterwards we spent some time playing on the Wii, and then I got a great birthday present. I got to do what I always do, and have been doing for the past year. Work on my movie. I'm working on re-writes for Redd, preparing for shoots for the next few weekends, and started editing the next Monster Cops video.

In my head there isn't a minute to waste, and definitely not on something as trivial as my birthday. I have GOT TO GET THIS THING DONE.

But there was cake. My wife had stuck a candle in a piece of cherry cheesecake we bought the night before and brought to my desk as I worked, along with a nice cup of irish cream coffee. It was quite sweet of her.

But honestly, the best present I got tonight was really being able to spend time with my wife. I cherish every minute I have with her. It's always a party and a celebration when I'm around her, and I'm so very lucky to have that, and her. She's amazing.

Oh, I did watch a movie tonight. I got a bit of writer's block and I decided to scroll through Netflix Instant Watch to see what was on. Ya know, I understand people being up in arms about Netflix's new prices, but I'm so fascinated by how I'm able to scroll through a database of movies with my remote, hit a button, and watch something crystal clear on my large screen TV. I mean wow. We've come a long way from watching grainy video tapes you'd have to pick up from the store and watch on your square picture smooshing television.

I mean I'd love it if they could widen their streaming selection, but hey, I refuse to complain (too much) when I have a great wife, a roof over my head, and the technology at my finger tips that enables me to both watch and or create movies. I find it truly amazing and an utter blessing.

And you know what else is amazing? Gareth Edward's MONSTERS.

It's the movie I watched tonight. I heard alot of buzz about this last year. Now I know why. It's a brilliant movie. Now to be honest, this barely qualifies as a horror film, and just barely makes it in as a Monster Movie. The heart of this is a road trip movie, where two people grow closer as they experience the unexpected. It more closely resembles a love story and a character study then that of a full on creature feature. Not to say their weren't moments of eeriness. There were definitely some solid Giant Monster moments, very creepy stuff. But if you're expecting hardcore action like Cloverfield or ID4, you might find yourself bored. Me? I loved it. Great filmmaking, great ending, and as a fan of practical visual fx I thought it was brilliant. So many scenes you wouldn't think would have visual fx in it or recognize any kind of effect, and that's what makes it work so well.

One of the reasons I sought out a movie to watch, and was glad to have selected that movie, was because my brain is thinking about the visual fx for my own projects. I'm going to be trying to pull off some pretty neat and complex stuff before the year is out, and I'm trying to workout some of the best ways I can accomplish this. That means it's research time. Time to start looking at videos that stimulate my brain on the subject.

A few videos that have got me thinking about visual fx. Both for Monster Cops and for Redd. These are just the ones I happened to have perused this fine evening.


Ben 10: Alien Swarm VFX Behind the Scenes



Sweeney Todd - visual effects (behind the scenes)



Time Freeze Shootout - Behind the Scenes



Dead Land (VISUAL FX BREAKDOWN)



VFX Breakdown



Terminator Salvation Breakdown Video



The Troll Hunter (Trolljegeren) - SuperRune VFX Shot Breakdowns

Thinking About A Monster

We've got major shooting to do for REDD, but now it's time to also turn my attention to Monster Cops and some of the new Monsters that they'll be hunting.

Again, I find myself researching monster costume techniques. Here are a few of the videos I'm finding inspiration from.

I'm looking to build something HUGE!!!


Krampus



4 Legged Stilt Costumes - Handmade



Demon Werewolf Costume



Freakenstein



QUAD STILT SUIT test 5



QUAD STILT SUIT TEST #6



And thinking about the giant pumpkin guy for REDD


Unpainted hand carved pumpkin head for oversize costume



Hand carved pumpkin head for oversize costume



Backyard FX: Halloween Pumpkin King Costume, Monsters : BFX

You Are A Moneytrasher

CVS was awesome enough to buy the spot I made. They are currently using it on their YouTube Channel and Facebook Page.  Features Chris Plouffe blowing his nose on a twenty (not really), and my nifty little voice over.





Check it out here as well to see it in action on their FACEBOOK PAGE, along with 4 of my other Poptent Brethren's creations.

My 2011 Demo Reel (First Cut)

I plan to have much more to add to this in the next few months.

Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It.

I've made a total of 4 ads this past month for Poptent. Why? Because I'm addicted.

Here are the 4 ads I've created for Poptent and the brands that have hired them to get folks like me to make ads for them.


Client: CVS
Asignment Name: MONEYTRASHERS
Their creative brief was very specific. Make two segments, one that shows how people waste money, and the second that shows how people waste money by throwing out their CVS receipts. Apparently many CVS receipts can be used like cash on your next visit. I had no idea. But now I know, and after watching my as you should know as well.




Client: VIZIO
Assignment Name: ENTERTAINMENT FREEDOM FOR ALL
The objective, to create a video that would give the viewers a sense of urgency, a sense of emotion, to help drive them to see Vizio as more than just a brand, to see Vizio as a revolution. This is actually not completely what I had in mind originally, but the final product came out better than I imagined. I actually really busted my ass on this one. The editing and sound editing were a killer.




Client: BUILD-A-BEAR
Assignment Name: SMALLFRYS
Buildabear needed ads to announce the arrival of their new product called Smallfrys. They sent me a sample to use in the ad. It was a Penguin and it actually comes in a FRY BOX. How cute is that? I went in search of a cute kid to help me sell this ad, and I lucked out when I found Reagan Spiegel. Adorable, energetic, and the right amount of cheese.




Client: POPTENT
Assignment Name: GO GREEN
Poptent has started up this great idea. Have the creators make videos and ads based on one subject, select the best ones, and put them all together in smoething called the VIDEO MART, where companies can shop for ready made ads they can use. Here the topic is Go Green. And immediately I came up with an idea. Paid off too, this video was selected to go in the Video Mart. Got paid for it too.



I log on to my Poptent Profile, I peruse the assignments, I pick out which ones I click with and or have time for, I download the assets, look over the creative brief to see what the brand wants, and then I go to work on a tailor made video for specific brands.


It almost feels like I work for the Impossible Missions Force. I get a brief with mission instructions, I choose to accept the mission, and I execute said mission. Speaking of Mission Impossible, I AM SO VERY EXCITED ABOUT MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4.

Look I'm not a big Tom Cruise fan, but I do love JJ Abrams, and I REALLY love Brad Bird. JJ is producing, Brad is directing. I immediately assume it's going to be amazing. The trailer certainly seems like it is.



Ok, hopefully there will be a big enough break from making ads, long enough for me to get the rest of REDD casted, raise the money, and finish it in September. Also got Monster Cops episodes, and that new short film Firelight, which I'm honestly starting to re-think the title. We'll see.

Rule #7

Shoot first ask questions later.

It's a good idea when you shoot to keep editing in mind, but don't get bogged down by how something may or may not work in editing. When you're shooting, concentrate on shooting. Just get all the shots, even ones you think may not work in editing. Better to have it later as an option than not have it at all.

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If you do what you've always done ...

you'll get what you've always gotten.

I say that alot. Both out loud and to myself.

Today's pic is a poster from the movie Labyrinth. Why? Because I like it, that's why.

Makes me think of the kinds of movies that influenced me. The kinds of movies I'd like to make. And where I'm at right now.  I guess you could say I'm in sort of a Labyrinth. I know where I need to get too, but there are so many ways to get there it can be overwhelming. You never know what may lie around each corner you turn. Maybe you'll find a long passage that gets you further, maybe you'll reach a dead end, and sometimes you turn the corner and you find yourself stumbling into a pit of despair.

Technically I just described a maze.





For alot of folks Mazes and Labyrinths are interchangeable. But there is actually a difference between the two. Mazes have options, you have choices as to which way to go. Labyrinths usually rely on one true path. Nothing to solve really you just gotta keep walking.

I guess you could ask yourself weather you see life as a maze or a labyrinth. For some they feel like they have a destiny, and as long as they continue on this one path, they will reach their destination.

Others see life as a maze, with many options to choose from. Choose wisely, or you could spend much of your life trying to work your way out of an oubliette.

How do I see it? To be honest, I believe life to be much more complex and simple all at once. It's an odd creature this life, can't define it with one explanation, which allows me to give this answer.

It's both.

For me anyhow. My life is both a maze and a labyrinth. Both has twists and turns, both can seem complex, both can be fun, and agonizing at the same time. Such is life.

But do I choose my path, or is my path chosen for me?

For my life I believe I have but one destination, but as I said earlier, there is more than one way to get there, at least it seems. But I believe that choice is the path. A maze may lead you elsewhere, but as long as you never give up, as long as you keep trying, keep choosing, and make the choice to keep walking, there really only is one destination and one path to it. For my life at least.

Too many people don't choose, they stand still. Whether they're in a maze or a labyrinth, they refuse to choose, or to walk. And yet they complain about being stuck.

In my life I've found that choosing to walk, and to continue to make choices is the only path for me. I only lose the destination if I do nothing.

So what about you. Whether your life is a maze or a labyrinth, you must choose a path and you must walk a path.

Or you can continue to do what you've always done.

If I blog about it, maybe it will happen

It's a short film I've been thinking about for a while now. I'm going to commit myself to saying that I'll do this later this year.  Yes my plate is full, but something is telling me that I really need to do this one.

We'll see what happens.

The Dallas Mavericks

"This series proves that a TEAM is much bigger than individuals.” – Magic Johnson

The Dallas Mavericks have won their franchise's first NBA Championship

by beating the Miami Heat, 105-95.

Photo from Reuters

I am so very proud to be from Dallas right now.

I really miss my brother.

Shine a Light

The second feature film I've ever made is also the first installment of the MONSTER COPS franchise.

MONSTER COPS: THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL is back on DVD.

You can buy it on DVD for $12 or you can download or rent it to watch on your PC, HDTV, Bluray, XBOX, or Roku through Amazon Instant Watch.

And remember, $1 from every DVD sold will go to the American Cancer Society.

Click here to find out more about THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL.




It was originally on DVD back in 2007. In 2009 I pulled it off shelves because I intended to re-edit it and put out a newer version. Then I realized that I was being a bit too George Lucasy. The movie is perfectly fine the way it is. Recently I had been messaged by a few folks about how they could get a copy.  So here it is back on DVD. In all it's No-Budget glory.

It was the first step towards what I wanted Monster Cops to be. It lacked the kind of FX we have now, and it really could've used more Monsters. But I think it's good nonetheless. It's endearing, it's creative, and I'm very proud of the writing and the performances. And it still cracks me up how frickin funny it is.

With the newer episodes I had created (Shadow Company and Monsters Vs. Cops) I would get closer and closer to that full vision of what I wanted Monster Cops to be.  I'm hoping by late this year I can fully execute that vision with the newer episodes of Monster cops, and put that out on DVD in a Series 1 volume of episodes.

Redd is our other production, as you may know. Plugging along nicely I might add, but with my schedule getting fuller, we may need to extend shooting into Fall.

A winter release will probably be more likely.

I really can't wait to finish this one. It's going to be a great one.

If you haven't yet, check out the fight clip below.


April Crum as Redd fighting Bryan Sloyer as The Monk.



I'm extremely impressed with everyone's performances so far. It's been a blast to shoot. Still need to do a bit more fundraising for it, but I think we'll be fine.

I'm proud to say that the first 4 minutes of REDD on Youtube have reached well over 50,000 views. Hey, maybe it's not 1 million like I wanted, but at least it's alot, and the majority of the comments are positive, so YAY!

If you get a chance check out the front page at REDDMOVIE.COM, look for the comment box towards the bottom, and leave a nice comment about how excited you are to see the movie. Go on, DO IT!

The Yamaha Ad I made, NO ORDINARY PAPER BOAT, was top ten finalist for Yamaha. Earned me a Poptent medal. Quite proud.

Aside from the occasional breakdowns (ala last post) things are good.  And now I work to make them better and even better.

Today's lesson boys and girls? Keep moving forward. Don't dwell on your past accomplishments, move on to bigger and better ones.

Just keep swimming.

Further

It was bad last night. The thought that my brother was gone really hit me. Although he'd been gone for over a week now, the reality of it didn't truly hit me until last night.

I lost it.

I'm ok. I really am. It's just been a roller coaster of emotions. That combined with all the normal irritations that have been bothering me, and my tendency to look at all that depresses me when I'm already depressed. I'm not in a great place right now.

Alot of other things have been happening. And although it's taking it's toll on me, I think it's necessary. It's all forcing me to really look at what needs to be done, who I associate with, and how I go about things personally and professionally.

I was already in a very driven and determined state. I was already motivated to work towards my dreams and goals. I thought I couldn't push myself any further.

I was wrong. I don't think I've ever been here before. This feels different somehow. As vulnerable as I feel, as weak as I am right now, on some level I also kinda feel invincible.

Like nothing can stop me. Like if I can go through this kind of pain, and burn in this kind of fire, then what else could hurt me. I have nothing left to lose.

I don't know if this makes any sense. I don't know. Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

I do know that I am so very happy that I have my wife. I love her so much. I couldn't possibly go through any of this without her.

I have to work on this video slideshow featuring pictures of my brother Robert. But I can't bring myself to finish it yet. I can't look at all those pics just yet. Especially those old pics of me and Robert as kids. It's too hard right now.

I'm pushing forward though. Creatively and professionally. Still gotta work.

And so I push forward. With a heavy heart. I push forward.

I'm tired. Otherwise I'd continue to type about The Dallas Mavericks and why I'm really pushing for them to win the NBA Finals.

Another post perhaps.

Thank you, all of you, who've shown your support, given your condolences, and blessed me and my family with love, caring, and positive energy. I and we truly appreciate it.

Huge Electromagnet and Pit Balls.

Exactly what I would be doing if I had spare time.

Dallas Mavericks

Taken from Sports Day DFW.

Kuya

 

My brother passed away this morning.

My big brother. Robert Prejusa. I'm just so glad you don't have to fight this anymore.

I'm so sad I couldn't be there. But I am very happy I was able to come this past March.

Look, I know you were worried. About your family. About Tammy. About Matthew and Sarah.

I hope you can see now, there's no need to worry. They'll be fine. I'll do what I can to help them.

But they are strong and they will always have your love to warm them.

I know you're worried about Dad. So am I. But he's told me not too. He says he's ok.

Also, he has Mom there to keep him strong. He'll be fine.

And don't worry about our brothers Phillip, Noel, Dominic, and Dennis.

Like me, they have loving wives to support them, and a big family that they can count on.

Don't worry about Allan. I worry about him too sometimes, like I worry about everyone in our family.

But he is strong, whether he realizes it or not.

Allan, if you're reading this, you know you can call me whenever you need me right?

That goes for any of the Prejusa's. If you need to talk, you can call me.

And don't you worry about me. I'm ok. Well, I will be.

I have Juli. And as usual, I have my dreams and goals.

I told you. If you get better, then I'd finish this movie and you could make the premiere.

I guess you held up your end. I mean, honestly it's kind of cheating,

but I guess you're technically better now.

So I'll finish this, and you can see what I've been working on.

And I'll dedicate it to you. My Brother. My Kuya.

I always looked up to you.

Whether you realized it or not, you taught me so much.

You raised me just as much as Mom and Dad did.

You inspired me, and still do.

I will always be your little brother.

I know you know it, but I will say it here anyways. I Love You.

 

 

 

 

5 of the 7.

Re-post From Twitter.

My brother's condition isn't improving much. He's requested to stop treatment and head back home with hospice care. It's not what I wanted, or what any of us wanted, but he's had a long hard fight, and if he feels it's time, then it's time. He heads home Saturday. After that they say it'll be about a week and a half. Right now it's just about making him comfortable. Thank you all so much for your prayers and positivity. I appreciate it so much more than I can say here.

Just Keep Swimming

Have I used that title before? I think I have.

I'm a little Pixar inspired right now, well, actually I'm almost always Pixar inspired. I believe they are one of the few studios truly turning out great cinema and story telling right now. But I am more so than usual as I've watched the documentary THE PIXAR STORY for like the third time.

Pixar seems to really nail the essence of storytelling that I love in cinema. Something that I hope to really capture in my own movies. This is such a great documentary about the creation and evolution of Pixar Studios, and involves much talk about the making of Toy Story and Toy Story 2, and really delves into the creative process involved in telling great stories like they do.

Thank God for Netflix Instant Watch. Thanks to our brand spankin new Bluray Player, we're able to connect our big flat screen to the internet and watch anything off of Netflix Instant Watch. Technology just blows my mind.

It seems to be my only source of entertainment that I can squeeze into my hectic schedule. Well, that and my obsession with the Wii. I know, I know, everyone else has moved on to Playstation Move or XBOX 360 Kinect. Sue me, I'm not exactly a bit video game guy and as a newbie I'm blown away by the active fun of the Wii. I've even figured out a way to get a decent workout just by playing Wii Sports Resort.

My brother is ok, sort of. It's up and down right now. He can communicate. Some by speaking, but he can write notes perfectly well. I wish I could be there to see him, but I don't think I can make it back to Texas at least for a while. I am glad I was able to be there a few months ago.

That trip to Texas was an eye opener for me. I blogged about it once, and I wanted to get into more detail with another blog, but I've been too busy. Also, there was a sense of magic and mystic about that trip that I've been trying to hold on to, and I think I was partially afraid it would all go away if I spoke of it too much. Like making a wish, if I tell it, it won't come true.

I will say that I've been trying to hold on to those inspiring feelings, trying to combine it with the inspiration I already feel on a daily basis. Letting it fuel me and my work.

Speaking of work, REDD is moving along. I still need a few bucks, and I don't know where it's going to come from, but I'm gong to continue to get whatever footage I can. We shoot again this Friday and Saturday. I'm REALLY hoping we can get a good chunk of footage shot. I'm going to get back into more fundraising efforts soon for REDD, especially as we collect more impressive footage.

Been working on Ad jobs. Here's the latest Ad I shot for Yamaha Motors. Yes it involves paper crafts again. Seems to be my lucky charm.



Got a bunch more ads and projects to shoot, and this Saturday is going to be rather hectic. We've got the REDD shoot, The Dallas Mavericks are in game 3 against the Oklahoma Thunder (GO MAVS!), It's Judgment Day, AND Justin Timberlake is hosting Saturday Night Live. And if you have never seen JT host SNL, then you don't know what you are missing. FRICKIN HILARIOUS!

The following Weekend we're having a HUGE garage sale, in an effort to clean out clutter, make a few bucks, but for me really, it's about cleaning out that clutter.

Ok, now I have to think about making a commercial for DISCOUNT TIRES.

Oh and if anyone knows of a Cave area and an Air Conditioned Warehouse we can shoot in (in and around the Winston Salem area) please let me know.

We got him

To the men and women who fight to protect out country, To those families who have lost loved ones on 9/11, my love, my support, and my deepest respect go to you.

And I know this is the big news story right now, but I do want to say that I am thinking of those in the south who were hit hard by the storms. So much damage and still so many people missing. If you can, please make a donation to the Red Cross.

http://www.redcross.org/

We started shooting this past Saturday for Redd, and my brother is improving. I'll be posting more about all that later.

Feel free to head over to the official site for REDD.

http://www.reddmovie.com

Check out the blog or the photos section to see some of the new pics from the shoot. Like this one:

Working and Practicing

I am just blown away by the death and destruction in all of the towns hit by the tornadoes, especially in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

Juli and I use to stop there when we drove cross country. We stopped and spent the night there, got dinner, and drove around half joking about how we should get a house there. It kind of became our 3rd home. 1st and 2nd going to NC and TX.

It's been heart breaking to see the footage of the devastation, and even more so to keep seeing the body count rise.

On happier news, my Brother is improving. Yesterday, April 30th, was his birthday, and I'm just so happy he's still around to celebrate it. He's got a ways to go, but it's looking good for him. Thank God.

And speaking of God, I get the feeling a bunch of people may have been a little freaked out about my last video on MAY 21st being Judgment Day. I think some folks see the title, and just don't watch it, and then make assumptions about me. When really it's a comedy piece, and I thought it was hilarious.

No I do not think that May 21st is judgment day. Yes the video I made kind of makes fun of that. Watch it, I think it's hilarious. But I guess it would help if you were a fan of 80's movies. Some very 80's references in that vid.

Yesterday, April 30th, we started officially shooting for REDD. And it's all coming back to me now. The tiring hours of rehearsal, dealing with the props,. the costume bits, the lighting, the camera, and dealing with the overall awkwardness of shooting outdoors. Thankfully the weather was nice, but I know it won't be like that alot of the time we are shooting this movie. I'm anticipating heat in the future.

I am terribly sleepy. I'm going to lay down now. I'll do a proper update later.

Something's not right. I'm going to need to ponder this for a bit.

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MAY 21st. JUDGMENT DAY?

I've made a video about the controversy surrounding this supposed date for God's Judgment Day / End Of The World.

Sadie says it

If I were to sum up and express my beliefs, it would be equal to this video. Thanks Sadie.

April Rundown

Great weekend. Hotel, Sinatra, Steve Lippia, Prime Rib, Mavericks game, brunch, and my brother is able to speak now. I'm happy things are working out and anxious to work on things to continue make things better for ourselves.

Part of me feels the more I can work on things movie wise, the better my brother will get, and the better life will get in general.

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YES!

Just got an update on my bro. He's improving greatly. Breathing on his own and everything. Big sigh of relief. He's even smiling. YES!

I'm so very thankful for all that I have and all the opportunities available to me. Despite the ups and downs, I'm doing alright.

Sorry, just sitting here eating lunch and it hits me how lucky I am. I really appreciate this life.

And now I kinda want a smoothie.

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ROUGH ROAD

This post is from the Blog for my current production REDD. I'll most likely be posting a more in-depth blog about my trip to Texas soon. But for now, enjoy.


It's been a rough road indeed. I've been doing preliminary work on this production. Working on props, re-writes, still doing a bit of casting, and securing locations.

My family in Texas informed me that my big brother, Robert, was having health issues and he was admitted to the hospital in late February. I was worried about him of course. Later in March they told me he had a heart infection. Things were getting serious. My family was worried, and I was distressed being so far away from home. I'm in North Carolina. Me and my wife were planning a trip back to Dallas in May. I hadn't been home or seen my family in 6 years. I was hoping that our first trip back wouldn't be because of bad news. So I waited day by day for updates on Robert's condition.

Late March I had reconnected with my old friend and usual set photographer, Julie Keels. We discussed REDD and the details of her involvement, and how I needed her talents as a photographer. Literally the next day, she would wreck her car in a horrible accident. The following week she would pass away.

I was already distressed about my brother, and now a close friend has suddenly been taken.

The day of her funeral my brother Phillip called. He said I needed to come home as soon as possible. Things were not looking good for my Big Brother. I wouldn't get to go to Julie's memorial service. We packed up and headed for Dallas asap. My worst fear had come true. I was headed home to say goodbye to my brother.

I was in Dallas from March 26th to April 3rd. It was a roller coaster of emotion. The surreal familiarity of coming home after so long. The heart break of seeing my brother in that hospital bed. The ups and downs, going from very profound dramatic moments all the way to the goofy comedy that still exude from my family, even in times of pain.

In my first visit to see him in the hospital, it was rather rough seeing him in such bad shape. He couldn't speak, and because of the meds his reactions were slow. The best you could hope for as a response would be eye blinking, and movement from his right hand.

I let him know he was a big part of what inspired me to make movies. We would watch movies and he would explain things that I as a kid wouldn't understand. He would be a strong part of my long history as a movie fanatic. I told him he had to start getting better. If he did, then I'd finish this movie and he could make a full recovery and come to the premiere.

He looked at me. I could see in his eyes he could hear me.

It was looking bleak. One day we had a meeting. We discussed Hospice and then Funeral Arrangements.

The next day, he started to show signs of improvement.

All of a sudden things were looking up. Thank God.

The rest of my time there was very profound and moving. Lots of nostalgia. Being with family, seeing my old hometown, walking the very streets I ran around in shooting my first feature film. Seeing locations from my second feature film. Driving past the old movie theater where I spent years as a projectionist.

I realized I needed to be here, at that exact time, to experience exactly what I had experienced. To remember where I came from and how I started making movies.

It was the shot in the arm that I needed. To feel that, to reminisce and be with my family, and to tell my brother what I needed to tell him. With everything starting to look more positive, I was ready to get back to work on REDD. To get back to work on making a movie.

As it stands now my brother is not out of the woods. There are still some hurdles for him, and it may be a long fight, but he's still in this. He's not done yet. And the best I can do is root for him, stay positive, and keep my promise. He'll get better, and I'll make a movie.

As for the great Julie Keels, I'm sad she is gone. But I'll celebrate her by doing what she and I always connected on. The movies. I respected her talents as a photographer and in her honor I'll do my best to make every shot of this movie cinematic and picturesque.

I want to thank everyone who has shown this production support. And to those who knew what was going on with me, thank you for your kind and caring words and your prayers, it is greatly greatly appreciated.

The first round of funding on Kickstarter is done, but we will be starting up another round very soon.

Production wise, re-writes are about done, we still have a bit of casting left, and props to finish. We start shooting this month and we're on schedule to finish up this summer with a fall premiere in North Carolina and in Texas.

Please like us on Facebook for more details:
http://www.facebook.com/reddactionhorrormovie

Feel free to check out my blog post about my friend Julie Keels.


Seriously, thank you, all of you.

- Patrick A. Prejusa

HOME

Home in NC. Got back from Texas last night. What I thought was going to be a depressing trip turned out to be pretty awesome. My Brother is not completely out of the woods, but he is improving, and he looks alot better. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support. I believe your positivity has made a world of difference.

I'll post in detail of our full adventure back to my home town in a bit, but right now I've got MUCH organizing, unpacking, and regrouping to do.

More soon.

There is a lot of love in this family. It feels wonderful to feel it again. At this point, anything can happen with my brother. No matter what, in the end, It's going to be about love.

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Can't sleep. What a truly surreal, busy, emotional, day this was. I don't know what to make of it quite yet.

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It's been 6 years. I'm home. This is surreal.

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I'm afraid that I'm going to have to fly to Texas tomorrow to say good bye to my brother. It's not looking too good for him.

I feel bad for missing Julie's memorial service.  Today has been very hectic trying to get things in order.

We leave in the morning.

What an awful terrible time this is.

Exclusively For You

That was the title of the email I got from my friend Julie Keels. She got hacked and that email was actually from a spammer. The contents suggesting a link to affordable Viagra.

I emailed her back to let her know that I thought she had been hacked, or she was really suggesting I needed viagra. She responded letting me know she knew, and that she figured that I didn't need any viagra.

And it was because of a piece of spam email that started the last conversation I would ever have with Julie Keels. I told her about REDD and about how I needed her talents as my usual set photographer. She was excited to work with me again, and thought the project looked good.

Her last email to me said, "Can you call me?"

I never got a chance to. And I regret that I didn't.

The next morning she would wreck her car. Her Ford Explorer flipping over and then hitting a telephone pole. She flew out the windshield. She would remain in critical condition at Wake Forest Baptist Hospital suffering from many injuries.

She passed away earlier this evening.

My love, and positivity, and support goes to her loving family who was there with her when she passed. As crappy and sad as it may sound, that is actually a very precious thing. To be surrounded by people who love you, and to be with the ones you love when they pass on. I speak from experience.

Special thanks to our mutual friend Alexis Dehart Stephens. She was the one who really got everything together to inform all of Julie's friends about the accident. She even formed a Facebook page that was very informative and useful to all of us who care for Julie.

She was not only my set photographer, model, actress, and production crew member, she was my friend, and I will miss her.


Julie Keels played model for me in an Ad I shot for a Hoodie Commercial. The footage of her was so awesome I threw the unused footage together in a quick music video.

I'll miss our long enduring talks about film, and how easy it was for me to make you laugh. You were one of the people that believed in me and my supposed talents. I think you understood what I was going for, what my goals are, and what it meant to me to try to make truly great movies. It was my pleasure to work with you, talk with you, laugh with you, and be friends with you.

I'm sorry I didn't call you.

Photos by Julie Keels

Thank you for being there for me and for believing in me.

Clearly Defined Goals

I've gottem. Goals that is. I think the biggest problem is the amount of distraction. Always there to try to deter you from reaching those goals. And there have been many. From the trivial to the tragic, I have been shaken a little, but I never really stop working at them. If I ever stop then that is the ultimate defeat for me. I mean, you never really fail if you never stop trying.

There has been much to be worried about. Still no movement on my brother. Just hoping I don't get bad news anytime soon. Right now, no news is good news.

That plus a few other minor trivial and somewhat worrying things have distracted me from really pushing this Kickstarter cause.



I would traditionally do more updates, blogs and vlogs, but so many other things going on, I've just been too distracted and too busy.

But if all else fails I'll just start up another campaign next month. We do have 8 days left, so ya never know.

The good news I have just enough funding to get started shooting soon. We've been doing a few rehearsals here and there. I've been working on re-writes, building and painting props, establishing locations, etc.

I must admit, I was lost there for a second. Mainly due to all the personal stuff going on. But I can't let worries slow me down. Worrying never helped anything. Being prepared for the worst and hoping for the best is always the way to go. But sitting around worrying about what may or may not happen. It doesn't work.

Whether something happens or not, it shouldn't alter your work towards your clearly defined goals.

If I die tomorrow, well that would suck, but worrying about it today won't do anything for it. Maybe I'll prepare, I'll put on my bullet proof vest, look both ways before I cross the street, and take plenty of vitamin C, but sitting and worrying is nowhere near preparing, and is definitely nowhere near productive.

What if I worry and worry and worry and then nothing happens. What if I don't die and I end up living a long and healthy life. I'll have been too busy worrying and I'll be nowhere near my clearly defined goals.

So take those worries, give them their due respect, and then set them to the side while you move forward. Because this life is not worth living if you don't move forward.

So those are the orders I'm giving myself. The drill instructor shouting in my soul is screaming orders at me:

"Continue marching soldier. I don't care if the world looks like it's ending. I don't care if you've got people on the sidelines screaming that you can't do it, or you need to take cover because there's danger ahead. You trust your own eyes and tell me what you see. Do you see doomsday? Do you see danger ahead? Do you see utter catastrophe? No you don't. All you see is what you've always seen, even when others couldn't. Especially when others couldn't. You see the light. Your light. Your goals. Now you keep marching forward soldier. You march forward and you get them goals. They're yours, so you go gettem. DOUBLE TIME!"

And so I march on.

"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."
- Robert Heinlein

I'm very lost right now.

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BUILDING A MYSTERY

My Brother is still in the hospital. He's on a respirator. They say he's slowly showing signs of improvement. So I continue to hope for the best.

Despite my worries I have to move forward.

I would like to thank the 11 folks who have pledged to REDD's Kickstarter so far.



I'm in the midsts of doing re-writes for the script for REDD. The reason the last blog post was titled Mystery Box was because I've had Mystery Boxes, Macguffins, Plotlines, and Twists on the brain. Specifically the idea of Mystery Boxes due to this TED talk from JJ Abrams.



I swear I could watch TED talks all day. It's so enlightening and inspirational to hear intelligent, thought provoking, dialogue from passionate people.

JJ Abrams talks about his obsession with magic, design, technology, and making mysteries inside of making movies and telling stories.

This speaks volumes about what I find interesting about what I'm doing. I am building a mystery. And I often do. 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If I'm not thinking about how much I love my wife, I am thinking about stories. Movies play in my head. If you ever spy on me when I'm alone in a room, you'd think I was insane. I talk to myself. characters speak through me, I act out scenes. If not, then I'm sitting, zoned out, staring into nothing, watching the secret screening room in my head, piecing together the puzzle that is the movie that I want to make for you.

The earliest memories of me doing this were in church. 8 years old, sitting in the pew, as the Catholic Deacon reads today's passage, I was choreographing fight scenes in my head and coming up with witty dialogue. Fast forward 28 years later. Not much has changed. Even as I write this, my brain is still working out scenes. I build Mystery Boxes all the time. I place them in scenes in hopes that it will finally reach you from inside of my movie, and when you open it, you'll be taken in and blown away all at once.

And JJ Abrams is right, with today's technology, a no-budget filmmaker can do almost anything. So what ever scenes I work out in my head, I know I can make it happen.

Sort of.

I have to keep myself tethered to whatever assets I have or can get. And I've blogged about this, making movies on what you've got, it's the very essence of Guerrilla Filmmaking. The very essence of Guerrilla Warfare. (As I've done before) I quote Gene Hackman from ENEMY OF THE STATE.

In guerrilla warfare, you try to use your weaknesses as strengths. If they're big and you're small, then you're mobile and they're slow. You're hidden and they're exposed. Only fight battles you know you can win. That's the way the Vietcong did it. You capture their weapons and you use them against them the next time. That way they're supplying you. You grow stronger as they grow weaker.

In Guerrilla Filmmaking you do the same. You could see your lack of money as a weakness. But in reality it's an opportunity for you to push yourself creatively. I can't afford a prop department to build my gun props, I have to make them myself out of plastic bottles and hot glue. I couldn't afford a really expensive Werewolf costume, so I made one out of materials I already had, cardboard and duct tape.

And when you're building a Mystery Box guerrilla style, it gets even more interesting. And that's where I'm at now. There is a sense of mystery, magic, passion, and cleverness I'm trying to instill in this Mystery Box called REDD. And I'm doing it Guerrilla style. Perhaps we'll be able to get ahead production wise if we can raise the money from Kickstarter, but in the end it's still about doing this with what I've got and not letting it hinder my creative process, but letting it inspire the creation of the Mystery.

Building the Mystery Box. It's a conundrum that I love to fascinate over. I love playing the detective, solving a case with no solution. Puzzling over a riddle that has no answer. The only true answer is the one I come up with, but it has to be one that resonates with me. Only then will the entire movie truly resonate with the audience.

Inspiration is the key to opening and creating the Mystery Box, even and especially when you're doing it guerrilla style. I turn to the great words of Jim Jarmusch.

The Mystery Box

This is my first blog from my new phone. Let's hope this app works properly.

My Auntie Lina had passed away. The funeral was this week and I'm sad I couldn't attend. It's I'm San Diego and I wasn't able to leave NC.

Now my brother in Texas is in the hospital with a heart infection. I'm told he requires surgery, and even then they say he only has a 15% chance of making it. I wish I could make it down to see him. But I won't be able to travel for a few months. All I can do is stay positive, and keep him I'm my thoughts.

A lot is transpiring all at once. The exciting opportunities on the horizon, along with the possibility of more tragedy. All I can do is just take it day by day.

The Kickstarter for Redd is still underway. Less than 23 days now. 6 people have pledged and its about time for me to thank those folks in a new video blog. That'll be coming up soon.

No matter what, I must reach my goals this year. Make movies and put em out for people to see. And hopefully, make enough money to keep making these movies.

I'll get there. Despite what life wants to throw at you. Know that on some level, you are always in control of your destiny.

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