I don't like being put in a position where I am basically begging. Part of the reason why I haven't really been blogging in a while. I've found myself looking for opportunity instead of creating my own.
I was teased with the prospect of what crowd-funding might bring, and although I knew it was a possibility nothing would happen, I was pushed to hoping something would due to my current situation.
Money's been tight, work has been slow, and for a while there things weren't looking good. Mainly because I chose to look through helpless eyes.
I chose to. My choice. My situation, my responsibility and no one else's.
My situation is of my own creation. Yes, maybe some things may have happened that I have no control over, but in the end you do have full control of how you react to those situations. I chose to react with despair. Why? Because that's what human's need to do every once in a while. When you get knocked down, you have to pause for a second while you're on the ground, really look at your situation, feel it out, so when you rise, you have a better understanding of what you're rising for.
Things are better. Although much of my situation is not resolved, there is hope, but there's always hope. I can't rely on hope. I can only rely on me, and what I'M capable of doing, if I get help along the way, or if certain opportunities make themselves available, then great, but I still have to rely on what I can do, and with what I've got.
I've often blogged about doing the best with what you can. But in all honesty, I have to aim hire than that. I have to do something amazing with what I have. That way if I miss the target slightly I'll at least have something at a higher level.
One pledge today (Thank You Marcellus). I'm working on one editing job that may lead to more, but again, I can't hold my breath on it. And I'm working towards putting together Monster Cops on DVD, getting it out to screenings, as well as working on a new project which I can hopefully get out to audiences later this year.
Re-focused on what I need to do. Want to help? There are a number of things you can do.
Of course, we would love your pledge. New perks, including a DVD's, T-Shirts, as well as ways to actually participate in episodes. Click here and check it out: http://www.indiegogo.com/Monster-Cops-The-Series
You can also help spread the link around. Tell everyone you know about Monster Cops. Get folks to check out the site http://monstercops.com
Also, the entire episode MONSTERS Vs. COPS, is up at Big Star's Short Film Contest. Please visit the link, give us a high rating (you'll be directed to register, but it doesn't take long) then please forward it to everyone. http://www.bigstar.tv/film-contest/mockumentary-2009/3132
From my experience I've come to learn that the following is so very true.
When you become clear about what you want to accomplish, when you decide for sure what goal you want to reach. As you begin your journey towards that goal, everything that is the exact opposite of that goal will come into your existence.
I had a moment of clarity about Monster Cops. What was going to be accomplished and what needed to be done. Not only that, but I understood exactly what needed to follow after those certain goals for Monster Cops were reached. It was time for me to make another feature film, but only after I was able to put out Monster Cops Series 1 DVD this Fall.
And of course there is the fundraising, which is going slow, but it is going. See the widget and if you can please click on it and make a pledge.
Right now as far as income, I take what ever commercial work, ad work, video editing work I can. So it's already a roller coaster, not really sure where the next check will come from, but it's something.
I picked up a job today. Editing a reel for an actor. It looks to pay pretty good, and the material I would work with seems fun. It's always good to get a job that pays and you can get excited about.
Of course, after the meeting, I get home to turn on my desktop, and it will not boot up. Nothing, it sits there and hums. It was working perfectly fine just a few hours before, but here there was no functionality, no process beeps, just the quiet hum of the fans cooling a processor that wasn't doing anything.
So a dilemma. Not just because I can't do my job, but also I can't work on Monster Cops, the project I'm trying to turn into my job. I do have my wife's laptop and I have all my files backed up to a hard drive. The down side, my normal software is all on the desktop, and none of it will install properly on my wife's laptop.
It's disconcerting, yes, but on some level I saw it coming. After my moment of clarity, I knew something was bound to happen. That something that tries to deter you. That tests you. That makes things fall apart. The opposite of your goal has to happen so you can better experience what it the goal itself. Up cannot exist without down, nor right without left, nor having without the feeling of not having.
Very Zen, I know. And it does put me in somewhat of a positive mood. But it still sucks ass.
But it's ok. I'll figure it all out like I always do. I'll get the job done, I'll get my desktop fixed, and hopefully we can get some support for our little indie web series. So if you please, and if you can, make a pledge, tell a friend about monstercops.com. And please watch the episodes. I think they are quite good and I am very proud of them.
Other things have transpired today. Other things that are the opposite of my goal. Other things that are better left unblogged about, except to say, this is getting harder. And all indications say that things aren't going well, that things will fail, that things are not going in a positive direction.
But I don't care. Because I've been here before. Because if you can hold out past all that is the opposite of your goal, eventually you will reach your goal. You just have to believe, you have to hold on, you have to not give up.
Is this me giving myself a pep talk? You bet your ass.
It's opposite day, and I'm holding out til its over.
Gotta go solve some software problems, log some footage, and figure out how I can Macgyver my way through one editing job, two commercials, and eventually get back to working on Monster Cops. We only have a few pledgers, but we have pledgers nonetheless, which means we owe them a decent product in this Monster Cops DVD, which I fully intend to deliver and then some.
You want a Monster Cops DVD, then please, click the widget above, and make a pledge.
My wife randomly cut out a picture of him from a diabetes ad and stuck to my bulletin board next to my desk. I didn't realize it was there for a while. When I finally noticed it it kinda scared me. I jumped a little bit. Nothing like Wilford Brimley staring you down to start your day.
Happy Father's Day to all you Father's out there. And to those that have lost your Dad's too soon, I'm so very sorry and hope today passes with a bit of ease. I know how Mother's Day is for my wife since she lost her mom, and it makes me feel for anyone who has to go through such pain. I'm very thankful my parents are still alive, although I haven't seen them in years. One of these days I'll be able to make the trek to go see them and the rest of my family.
It's been an adventurous few days. There was the PeeWee Herman incident. If you haven't seen the last few posts, I will break it down. I tweeted I was going to make a ball of foil (this is for an ad for Poptent.net). Molly Bendall (twitter friend and fellow blogger) re-tweeted it to PeeWee. PeeWee re-tweeted it and posted it on his Facebook. Then my inbox, Twitter, and Facebook exploded with messages about the coolness of making a giant foil ball. Then I made the foil ball with pictures and Blogged and Vlogged about it, after which PeeWee retweeted and reposted on Facebook. My site immediately got over 700 hits (which is way more than the normal 30) and it's still going today.
Rest assured I will be adding to the foil ball to make it super gigantic. And YES I will use recycled foil as well as recycle it once I have no use for it.
Speaking of Vlogs (was I?)
Here's the latest one for Monster Cops. Yes it is indeed more of me begging for money for our kick ass Horror Comedy Web Series.
Currently I am editing a new Minisode, prepping for the next Episode, and trying to get more pledges into our FUNDRAISER, so we can cover some costs including the fees and what not to get our submission into the New York TV Fest. I am submitting the episode Monsters Vs. Cops as a pilot to display that our series would indeed be great on TV. You can watch that episode HERE.
Thank you so much to our recent backers it is a huge help, but of course we still need more. So please if you can CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR INDIEGOGO FUNDRAISING PAGE. You make a pledge, you get great rewards, including the Monster Cops DVD coming this Fall.
Other than that, I am working on doing some guest blogging for the International Trailer Festival. I blog about moviemaking all the time, but of course now that I need to, I'm running dry. It's cool, I've got a few things I hope they'll like. I mean, if I'm going to be a geek about moviemaking might as well share it with everyone right.
Other than that, I've been doing camera research. For the longest time I've been pulling for the Canon HV40, but now I'm thinking about DSLR's. The HV40 price has gone up, so I might as well go DSLR and get a Rebel. The Rebel has really been impressing me. If I want more affordable then I could get the Olympus Pen E-PL1, but the video I'm seeing is only impressive in diorama mode. The jelloing effect is bad even in slow pans. Still pictures look great, but I'm looking for HD Video. So right now, I'm all about the Canon Rebel T2i.
Of course, this is me day dreaming. I have a decent camera to work on my web series. First things first, get Monster Cops going and as much content produced as possible, get that DVD out, then we can worry about cinematic cameras and my next feature film.
Again, it comes back to pledges. We need the funding to supplement production costs, setup screenings, screen at fests, and market the heck out of this series. So please check out MONSTER COPS, and if you like what you see, help us out, pledge and or spread the word.
To be introverted or not to be introverted. That is the question. I mean, we all are naturally, but I feel maybe I've not been taking enough responsibility in my own actions. Maybe that's why funding is failing. Maybe it's supposed to.
Don't mind me, I'm just being an Emo Moviemaker. A little down about fundraising, sure, but more down about not being able to create, well, ya know MOVIES! Something cinematic. Something really great.
I'll keep trying. The best way I can. And that's all you can do.
"Do or do not, there is no try."
Yes Master Yoda, but sometimes, trying is all you can do.
I hate this. I don't like that feeling of coulda, shoulda, woulda. It happens when you're trying to make something out of nothing. You look back on things and wonder what else you could be doing. What else you could have done or would have done.
It's time to look long and hard at the possiblity that no one is going to give you money. But we try anyhow. And you keep trying. And while you're trying to do that, you try to do everything else as well.
For example, my latest ad for Poptent. A commercial for the Nokia Nuron.
I went down the normal laundry list of ideas. Comical, cute, irreverent, or perhaps straightforward and general. All while trying to convey the information the brand wants to broadcast about their project.
Doing many skits, and viral vids, I had immediately come up with several ideas, some of them doable, some of them good, but none of them that click. And when I say click, I mean that click you here when art connects with storytelling, and when the visceral connects with intellectual to create something truly tangible (am I being too cerebral?).
In other words I wanted something that gave me an AHA moment. And I had come up with something that was almost there. But I was holding back. Mainly because in my mind I was separating my ad work from my true creations. It's like there are unseen lines categorizing what I make. The ads are what I make for other people, everything else is geared toward me true goal, to make something truly cinematic, something with gravitas and depth.
And then it finally dawned on me. I was being STUPID. Why am I categorizing? Why have I unconsciously drawn these lines to box in what I was trying to do? There is no difference between my stuff and their stuff. Instead of whining about how I wish I could make something cinematic, why don I just do it. Who cares if it's for another company.
I know it should have been obvious. But sometimes you get wound up in things, I had alot to juggle, and I started organizing my brain, when it didn't need organization. So instead of just making an "AD" let me try to tell a story, and attempt to do it in a cinematic fashion.
Below is the ad I came up with. Went through a couple of versions, but this is the one I'm satisfied with the most.
Maybe when you watch it you only see a cute video using a couple of stuffed animals. But I'm very proud of it. It was an honest attempt to convey a plot cinematically. Which is to say create a story with images and sound. Not just some simple set up a camera and shoot something funny, but a genuine mini-movie about one character looking for something and finding it.
I took great pains to achieve it. I wanted to convey a somewhat Sci-Fi tone, especially with the lighting. Very much in the vein of Amazing Stories or Close Encounters. And then go into that playful child like feel and end on a fairy tale happy ending.
The bears were old props I've had for 10 years. Used for another project, I dug em out of the old prop box. It all seemed to click. Especially with the music. I used an old track I wrote years ago for another project called "Halloweenland". That score I was very proud of when I had created it, and it matched this concept perfectly.
Doing this ad made me excited to do my feature Bobby's Closet. My little sci-fi adventure monster movie that's very much a nod to the 80's adventure flicks. That's going to require a much bigger budget, around $80,000 at the least. Hopefully when I get to it, I'll be able to have a higher budget and really take off with it.
Until then, I'll create my little cinematic moments in everything I do and whenever I can. Perhaps it'll eventually get me the funding I need.
Speaking of funding. Our time at Kickstarter has ended. We did not reach our target goal, which means we did not getting our funding, but it was fun, and we did get the word out to a few more people about Monster Cops. No regrets there. But as I said before, we have to keep trying.
So please take a look at our IndieGoGo page. It's just like Kickstarter but we actually get to keep the pledges even if we don't reach our goal. So this is me officially saying we're putting out a DVD this Fall. Click the widget below, make a pledge and you will get a reward for it whether it be producer credits, t-shirts, or a DVD.
Thank you so much to those that did back us on Kickstarter. It means alot to know we have your support. THANK YOU.
Off I go to make something cinematical. And no excuses, no time for being down anymore, you want to make something really great, with depth, with true AHA moments? Then just go and do it. Then show it to people. Show it to everyone. And yes the coulda, shoulda, woulda, moments will come and go, but the best remedy for that is DO something, and when you can't do something, you can at least TRY. Cuz if you don't try, then you'll end up with a whole lotta nothing.
If you want to make movies, then make movies. If you are a moviemaker then remember, don't just make movies, make movies everywhere and every chance you get. I don't care if you're just cutting together a car commercial or shooting your cousin's Bar Mitzvah, make it a movie.
Betsy? It's now or never. We are gonna make a movie.
- Bowfinger
