I came here to tell you how it's going to begin.

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

I think the real trick is in knowing you are in constant creation. Even when you're not trying, you are creating. Constantly setting the atmosphere in which you operate. Your situation is noone else's fault but your own.

This is of course me talking to myself. The circumstances in which I find myself sometimes, the predicaments, the obstacles, are all of my creation. In the past it's been about tha age old silly human question, "why do bad things constantly happen to me even when I'm trying to be good?" And the answer of course is, I'm stupid. The bad things are not happening to me, just life reacting to my reactions and me not understanding that there are no obstacles, just new ways to create. And also I don't need to try to be good, just be good. Whatever your definition of that may be.

Do or do not, there is no try. Or in my philosophy, be or be not, there is no try.

I believe that I am in constant creation. That I'm constantly sending out vibes into the universe, and that the universe is constantly giving me what I ask for or in response to whatever vibe I'm putting out. If I give shit, I get shit. If all I do is want a thing, then I shall receive the feeling of wanting that thing. If all I do is try, then the universe will keep me in the constant loop of trying. And if all I do is nothing, then I will get nothing.

But if the universe gives me what I want in accordance to my vibe, and I choose to "be" something, then the universe may very well say "yes you are." I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to try to be a movie maker, but that I was a movie maker, I am a movie maker. And now I am. And despite what ever level of success you want to measure me at, I am still very much a movie maker, and I don't think I can be disputed at that. Now the time I claimed to be a Pro Wrestler, the universe actually called me out on that one, and I lost. I don't look good in tights flying off the ring side. So, good call universe.

But I do find myself in constant awe of the process of constant creation. And I think a part of that process is forgetting. Forgetting just how much control I have, or even worse, thinking that I don't deserve to have such control over my life. I think alot of people fall into that trap. Sometimes you feel like it's not even your life.

For me it's about getting caught up in the routine. The day job and paying bills, the yearly worries about family and friends, about celebrating births and mourning deaths. It's the cycle of life that you're supposed to get caught up in, but then you forget about the control you have separate from the routine. Life's like this video game, where you can play however you want and reach any level you want, you just have to remember to play and that you hold the control.

I do forget, and as I said I think it is part of the process of it all. We forget to remember. And thankfully I have such great inspirations to remind me often of my path. And despite what I thought was happening 3 and a half years ago, it's actually all working out how I thought it would, and then some. Not saying there are no surprises, there have been. But my life as it is now are matching up with the goals I was aiming for then. I said to the universe what I was, and the reply was, yes you are. And I'm thankful for that.

You get what you give. And I try to give the universe nothing but good material to work with. So the next time the shit hits the fan, I have to realize who was doing the throwing and who put the fan there in the first place. Well that's a heck of an analogy.

This entire dialogue is a reminder to me (as most of my blogging is). So that maybe the next time the forgetfulness won't last so long.



Neo: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
- The Matrix