be grateful for everything

 there's a great sheryl crow lyric

"It's not having what you want

It's wanting what you've got"

be grateful, even now I'm very grateful I'm here with my mom, to be here in this house my dad built, even after he's passed away, he's still providing for me. I'm grateful for that.

cherish every little thing you have and can do. in an instant I lost the ability to do a lot, like, I actually love washing dishes, I love that I had my own place and my own stuff and I had the ability to use that stuff, clean it and take care of it. so whatever menial task you have to do or may even complain about, be grateful, because none of it is menial, I continue to be grateful cuz I could have died, but i still have a shot to live the way I deserve and desire and once I'm no longer paralyzed I will be grateful still, to be able to do it all, to stand up from a chair properly, to washe dishes, to be able to hug with both arms and in the future I will continue to be grateful, for my ability, and my stuff, because it's all a privilege.

Are you the victim?

“As you think, so shall you become.”
- Bruce Lee

In the movie that is your life. Are you the victim? Are you the supporting actor in the background? Are you even starring in your own life?

Or are you the bad ass motherfucker that runs the show?

I watched a screener copy of an indie horror flick called Evil Things, directed by Dominic Perez.

You can read my full review here.

I liked it alot. It was scary. And it really made me think what I would do in alot of the situations the characters found themselves in. What would you do if you were being stalked by a madman? Would you stand by and let him terrorize you? Or would you take a good long look at your life, and realize how precious and wonderful it is, and worth fighting for. Maybe then instead of screaming bloody murder, you would have the fortitude to stand your ground and fight back with force and clarity.

Of course I'm not really thinking about a literal madman. As always I'm thinking about moviemaking, the stumbling blocks along the way, and my madman that continues to stalk me. Myself. I am my own terrorizer, my own stumbling block, the only one that prevents me from reaching the next level.

And what is this next level? There are two things I am concerned with right now. To make my cinematic masterpiece feature film, CREEP. And to make MONSTER COPS into what it is meant to be, a full fledged online series, DVD compilation, and known brand reaching the audience it was meant to.

Creep I'm confident I can raise the money for. I'm still working on the site to do some crowdfunding and we've already begun rehearsals as I do re-writes. I'm going to make that movie this year, period.

Monster Cops, I've decided to hit it hard. I also need funding for it. Serious funding, to really be able to turn it into what I know it can be. Produce several more episodes, have national screenings in several venues, and have a DVD and merchandise ready to sell before October of this year. The stories and vision I have for Monster Cops needs to be told, and it deserves to be marketed properly to the audience that wants and needs to see it. I know I've said it before, but I need restate what Monster Cops is. It's comedy and horror for sure. But more so, it's episodic cinematic story telling hidden inside a goofy comic horror web series. The one episode I've produced and the few minisodes I've put up, barely display the full depth, empathy, pathos, and thrill I wish to convey with Monster Cops.

I've got the one episode up, one more on the way, and I need the resources and funding to produce 5 more episodes making it a total of 7 complete 20 minute episodes. Many of them will be available online to watch, but all will be available for purchase on DVD, and many of them will be screened in different venues through the nation. With the right marketing I know I could turn it into something really special. That combined with the solid story telling and hidden inspiration behind all the monsters, action, and comedy, I think this could really be the series and brand that I envisioned so many years ago.

I'm tired of settling for this so called reality. I'm ready to create with all my heart and produce the right livelihood I deserve. I've been holding back and I just don't have the strength to hold back anymore. It's time for me to let loose and hit this as hard as I can, and really bring out the creativity and effort to bring the visions in my heart to life.

Because in the movie of my life, I am not the victim. I am the badass motherfuckin hero in this bitch, and I have the force and clarity to pursue my passions and achieve my goals.

So in your own life, in your own movie, are you the victim?

“As long as I can remember I feel I have had this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force which I hold in my hand.”
- Bruce Lee