11:11 - 1:11

First I want to apologize for this blog. I wanted it to be about my adventures in movie making  But it's become a blog where I post cryptically about my emotional state as I experience my different supposed traumas.

And it seems there is so much that I go through that I cannot explain or talk about fully.  And here comes more.

Because of recent events I go through bouts of sadness, loneliness, and fear. Who doesn't?

But I do try to remember that I am blessed and lucky and I have alot going for me. That only comes through me fighting to get to that stability where I can focus on that.

But there are many times, very many times, where I do get a sign, a symbol, a voice from above that tells me it's all going to be beyond OK.  It says to me that things are going to be amazing. And from past experience I should have learned by now to trust in the process. I've seen what happens when I follow my passion, my positivity, and my vision. I've seen what happens when I pay attention to the signs.

Thing is, I'm stupid. I need to be hit over the head with these signs and I usually am. The universe practically screams at me these affirmations of life and the future and each time I find myself amazed and flabbergasted by what I had just witnessed only to slip back into whatever negativity I was experiencing.

I really need to cut that shit out.

Bottom line is I'm dumb. I have greatness before me and it takes a punch to my face to show me that I have it.  I need to really pay attention, and really believe. REALLY BELIEVE. This life has been generous with all the signs and symbols it throws at me, overtly generous, and I need to work hard to remember these signs and use them as inspiration to further drive me towards the person I was born to be and to experience those moments of amazement I need to and deserve to experience.

The truth is I am experiencing exactly what I asked for. Exactly what I created. I may not always remember that it's happening, but this is exactly what I ordered. With that in mind it's those signs, those symbols that I need to look to help push me towards that ultimate vision I have.

Ok, here are a few reminders.  Since I want to kinda remember the most recent punch to the face I received.

I need to learn to absorb what I've learned, because here's the thing, I have to deal with this myself.

It's the truth and it's a privilege.

All that other negativity that pushes you down? Ain't nobody got time for that.