Too Powerful

I'm sitting in this lounge chair, listening to John Mayer on VH1, drinking very cold coffee, as I write this.  I'm in a very somber mood. Maybe it's the coffee, but I'm sure John Mayer isn't helping.

Ok, I've changed the channel and Kevin Hart is doing stand up on Comedy Central. That's a little better.

Hmmm, nope. Still somber.

Well, my computer had died again.  Once more and I get a set of steak knives. Not really. Apparently I will get a new computer. So at this point it would be beneficial for me to have this thing die again in the two
weeks it'll take for Best Buy to fix it. So perhaps I'll have a new computer by mid November.

Ok, Kevin Hart just did a bit that totally cracked me up. It's about him watching a guy trying to lift weights at the gym.  Youtube it, it's hilarious.

Anyways, I am again on my wife's laptop.  I did test shots for Redd yesterday as well as started shooting a few scenes for it. But I can't do anything with the footage. The downside of having to share this Laptop with her is I have no editing on it, and it will not allow me to install any editing software.

So yeah, somber. Even if Kevin Hart is cracking me up.

As usual, there are lists of things for me to do. But I'm not motivated to do anything right now.  I need breakfast, there's laundry, I have to prepare for tonight as I am going to shoot some footage for the
documentary I'm working on.

Ok, in order to prevent me posting depressing, I'm going to eat some breakfast and I'll get back to this.

(Patrick has breakfast)


Alright, breakfast done. I now have hot coffee. Much better now. Still a bit of struggle to get some work done, but that's only because it's harder to do without my computer.

I have this idea that these complications are supposed to happen. I've got this really great camera now and no computer to work with.  I was gearing up, practicing, preparing, to make something really great, and if I had kept on with both a camera and a computer, then maybe I'd be making something amazing too soon.

Perhaps I'm not allowed to be too powerful.  If I had all the resources I needed, maybe that wouldn't be prudent for the planet, for surely I'd have world domination in my pocket within months. Maybe I'd be too powerful for my own good. Maybe I need to be stuck. Maybe I need to stay at one level.

Or maybe I'm a conducter without a symphony. A sculptor without clay. So what's an artist do without paint brushes.  Well, technically I have paint brushes and paint, just no canvas.  So what to do.

I can wait for a canvas, cuz maybe I'm supposed to. Or I can make my own canvas.