Saturday, April 10, 2010

Inner City Blues

Today's theme boys and girls. Inner City Blues by the late great Marvin Gaye.

Sometimes you feel like burning it all to the ground. Taking it all down. Getting rid of all you've worked on and start fresh. Because right now it looks like everything I've created just isn't that impressive to me. It's a horrible example of what I'm capable. Yet I can't seem to get to the greatness unless I do something to inspire people to help me get to that greatness. It's a vicious fucking circle.

Yes, I'm set to emo, down and out mode. I get this way when it looks like I have to place my future in other people's hands. It's not looking good. It never does. It only seems to workout when I rely on myself, and myself right now doesn't have the funding.

I'm more than halfway through editing this next Monster Cops episode. And I think it's neat. A few inches closer to resembling what I think Monster Cops is in terms of a good episode. We've got the monsters, the comedy, the conspiracy, and a nice little ending. But right now, it's just not enough for me. It's an alright episode.

Man I am so ready to make something that is more than alright. More than ok. More than just nice.

Jesus, this is getting old. How many more times am I going to blog about trying to make something amazing.

I'm just venting. Truth is I got a bit gung-ho about trying to get funding for Monster Cops. Thought for a second I could make a run for it, produce a bunch of episodes and make a DVD this year. But it looks like Monster Cops will stay right where it is. A side project that I'll be working on from time to time, til I die.

So I continue on with my list, clean the house, wash the car, get the CREEP website nice and shiny and as impressive as I can, and get that bad boy running in the next few weeks.

I'll see what else I can do for Monster Cops, but I really just need to quit asking for other people's help, go get me 3 jobs and raise the money myself. I've done it before. Course it's a little harder now, because I have a wife I'd like to see occasionally.

Perhaps I'll get the funding I need for Creep through some generous folks on the interwebs. A few of them have already messaged me to say that they will, and a few of you already have. Thanks for having faith in me guys. I've got to get that website as good as it can, before I spread the word on it.

Hang ups, let downs
Bad breaks, set backs
Natural fact is
I can't pay my taxes
Oh, make me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
Yea, it makes me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
- Marvin Gaye

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